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Funding medical research into curing diseases should take priority over developing existing healthcare services and facilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Funding medical research into curing diseases should take priority over developing existing healthcare services and facilities. with this opinion? kL2jn
The epidemic is evolving and it is necessary to fund medical research to cure the disease are necessity but I firmly believe that construction of medical facilities is more necessary. This essay will explain why the construction of medical facilities is superior. First of all, the physical facilities of our country's wards and health clinics are not enough for the people, so before developing other things we must focus on developing the immediate things to ensure that there will be enough clinics when people need them. Secondly, we can easily see that what people need right now is not a new medicine. Because we can completely import it from other countries even though our country does not have enough conditions for production it. While currently what we are lacking are hospital beds and hospitals to be able to take care of all the patients in the country. In conclusion, I don't take the development of new drugs lightly, I just don't feel it is as urgent as building more hospitals and medical facilities. Therefore, I disagree to a larger degree with the idea funding medical research into curing diseases should take priority over developing existing healthcare services and facilities.
The epidemic is evolving and it is necessary to fund
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
research to cure the disease are necessity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
firmly
believe that construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
facilities is more necessary. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why the construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
facilities is superior.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the physical facilities of our country's wards and health clinics are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
developing other things we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
focus on developing the immediate things to ensure that there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
clinics when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need them.

Secondly
, we can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is not a new medicine.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
we can completely import it from other countries
even though
our country does not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
conditions for production it. While
currently
what we are lacking are hospital beds and hospitals to be able to take care of all the patients in the country.

In conclusion
, I don't take the development of new drugs
lightly
, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
don't feel it is as urgent as building more hospitals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
facilities.
Therefore
, I disagree to a larger degree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
funding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
research into curing diseases should take priority over developing existing healthcare services and facilities.
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IELTS essay Funding medical research into curing diseases should take priority over developing existing healthcare services and facilities. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
199 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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