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Full time university students spend most of the time studying. They should be doing other activities too. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Full time university students spend most of the time studying. They should be doing other activities too. 7o6X
University is a place where students can gather knowledge from various activities along with studies. I personally believe that a student should spend some time on nonacademic studies. There is plethora of reasons for this statement. To begin with, spending all the time with books can lead to many health problems such as it can be stressful which results in depression. Sometimes student attempt suicide for this depression or if he or she does not achieved his or her success. Moreover they are at risk of being overweight. Generally every human being need some physical exercise for keep fit our body so that those who are studying for a long time they may face some difficulties with their health. In addition, pupils may not learn social skills they are not able to spend time with friends or go to some other events. However if they do some extra activities along with their studies, it will be refresh their mind and they can do more effort on their study. On the other hand, some people believe that pupils should more focus on their academic study rather than extra curriculum activities. Firstly, it will distract their mind from study if they more focus on extra curriculum. University education plays a big role in their professional life. If they do not do it properly for extra activities then they will face some difficulties with their professional life. Secondly, University education is a higher level of education which is not easy to learn. Pupils need to spend lots of time to understand and acquire them. For example, university courses are based on variety of topics which is very difficult to understand. Therefor university professor has helped students to solve problem and help them to build a better career. To conclude, although university courses are demanding long hours of study and hard work, doing other activities is vital for students. Hence, I think that after doing other activities students should be more relaxed or refreshed, and they can even more focus on studying.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
is a place where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can gather knowledge from various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. I
personally
believe that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on nonacademic studies.

There is plethora of reasons for this statement. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, spending all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with books can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health problems such as it can be stressful which results in depression.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
attempt suicide for this depression or if he or she does not
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "achieve"?
achieved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
success.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
they are at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of being overweight.
Generally
every human
being need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
physical exercise for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fit our body
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that those who are studying for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they may face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties with their health.
In addition
, pupils may not learn social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
they are not able to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with friends or go to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
if they do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
along with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
, it will be
Consider using a past participle here: "refreshed".
refresh
their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
mind and
they can do more effort on their study.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that pupils should more focus on their academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
curriculum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
Firstly
, it will distract their mind from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
if they more focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
curriculum.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
education plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
role in their professional life. If they do not do it
properly
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
then they will face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties with their professional life.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
education is a higher level of education which is not easy to learn. Pupils need to spend lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to understand and acquire them.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
courses
are based
on variety of topics which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to understand. Therefor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
professor has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to solve problem and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to build a better career.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
courses are demanding long hours of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work, doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
is vital for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Hence
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that after doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should be more relaxed or refreshed, and they can even more focus on studying.
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IELTS essay Full time university students spend most of the time studying. They should be doing other activities too.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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