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advertisement makes products seem better than they are

advertisement makes products seem better than they are GMWRx
< span style=" font-size: 19. 36px; " > Companies need to sell their product, and advertisement is a paramount part of this procedure. I am of the conviction that advertising is extremely advantageous in the total profit of a company; therefore many companies make commercial-advertises a lot more appealing for public views. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will interpret in the following essay. First of all, manufacturers do not sell non-persuading products, well enough. For one thing, people buy what they perceive to be needed. For another thing, advertisements change people's opinion about a product; hence, if companies do not use strategies to make their items more appealing, they would experience bank-abruptly, sooner or later. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. About ten years ago, a friend of my father decides to make his company's advertisement more real; he believed in his product, a leather chair, to be good enough. In fact, their chair was the best and listed as the best selling-chair for more than five years, non-stop. This change in the advertisement system resulted in a sudden decrease in the company's profit. It did not take more than a couple of months for another competitive company to take the glory of the best-seller. Soon, my father's friend changed the advertisement into something else, an unreal chair with higher facilities compared to the real chair; consequently, the selling-rate increased immediately. For this reason, they took back their first place since then, and the owner owes it all to the wonderful_unrealistic_ advertisements. I believe that many advertisements are made to persuade costumers; therefore they need to make products look better Ostensibly, people care about the actual quality, but they only buy the most appealing items, and not surprisingly, marketing teams know about this, so they persuade companies to make unrealistic advertisements. Granted, we buy what we believe to be high-quality, but we do not always determine the quality of items. Marketing-teams persuade companies to use them to make better advertises and use influencers to persuade us about the non-existing high-quality of those companies' products. For instance, my sister wanted to buy a new cell phone around when she instead of graduate from school. She wanted to buy the model of Sony-Xperia because of its functions: good price, size, screen resolution, etc, however, this decision was due to change because of many advertises regarding the new Samsung smartphone. My sister was a huge fan of a Kpop star, Lee Jung Hyun, and the second he mentioned about the Samsung phone, my sister bought the phone. Then she believed that the phone was high-quality, however, she has never purchased another Samsung phone after the star stopped advertising the phone. Consequently, marketing teams benefit from unrealistic marketing and many people actually buy the products. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that companies choose the path to make their products looking better. This is because of their own profit and marketing companies' profit. < /span> < br>
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You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Companies
need to sell their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is a paramount part of this procedure. I am of the conviction that advertising is
extremely
advantageous in the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profit
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
;
therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
commercial-advertises a lot more appealing for public views. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will interpret in the following essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, manufacturers do not sell non-persuading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. For one thing,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
what they perceive to
be needed
. For another thing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's opinion about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
;
hence
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
strategies to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their items more appealing, they would experience bank-
abruptly
, sooner or later. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. About ten years ago, a friend of my father decides to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
more real; he believed in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, a leather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chair
, to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. In fact, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chair
was the best and listed as the best selling-chair for more than five years, non-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
system resulted in a sudden decrease in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profit
. It did not take more than a couple of months for another competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to take the glory of the best-seller.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Soon
, my father's friend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
into something else, an unreal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chair
with higher facilities compared to the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chair
;
consequently
, the selling-rate increased immediately.
For this reason
, they took back their
first
place since then, and the owner owes it all to the
In standard English, a word does not contain an underscore character (_). Make sure that the word 'wonderful _ unrealistic' is correct.
wonderful_unrealistic
_
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. I believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are made
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persuade
costumers;
therefore
they need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
look
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
better


Ostensibly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
care about the actual quality,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the most appealing items, and not
surprisingly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
teams know about this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persuade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
unrealistic advertisements.

Granted, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
what we believe to be high-quality,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we do not always determine the quality of items. Marketing-teams
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persuade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
better advertises and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
influencers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persuade
us about the non-existing high-quality of those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For instance
, my sister wanted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a new cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
around when she
instead
of graduate from school. She wanted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the model of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sony-Xperia
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its functions:
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
price, size, screen resolution, etc,
however
, this decision was due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advertises regarding the new Samsung smartphone. My sister was a huge fan of a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kpop
star, Lee Jung
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hyun
, and the second he
Did you mean simply "mentioned the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
mentioned about the
Samsung
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
, my sister
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
. Then she believed that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
was high-quality,
however
, she has never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
another Samsung
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
after the star
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
advertising the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
teams benefit from unrealistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
actually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the products.

In conclusion
, I am of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
choose the path to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
looking better. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profit
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profit
.
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&lt
; /
Possible spelling mistake found.
span&gt
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
&lt
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
br&gt
;
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IELTS essay advertisement makes products seem better than they are

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
501 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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