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Friends and family bring more happiness than money and possesions

Friends and family bring more happiness than money and possesions 1nrxN
According to some people, happiness can come from property and ownership. However, the others, claim that family bonds and friends are more important and can make people feel comfortable. In my opinion, I partly agree with the second ideas because of other factors need to be considered On the one hand, it’s explicit that the phenomenon has some prominent benefits. Firstly, reunion and meeting with family help people recharge their battery. Students, workers or also business man have their own stress and anxiety, and they need someone to help them releive that fatigue. For example, the father veey tired with lots of works and tasks he has to do day at the company, but when he comes home, a happy smile of his little daughter when she sees him is enough to make him happy and forget about his troubles. Secondly, friends are also can hellp people feel happier. A group of friend often arrange their time to have a meeting at the weekend, they confide everything to their friends like angry, nervous or also pleasure. They can to show their mind and thinking because they are at the same age and therefore, they easily understand and empathize with each other. On the other hand, it’s undeniable that th issues bring some thinkable problems. One of the neccesary consideration is that poor residents being unhappy even they have a large families or friends because the lack of money and position in social. They do not have enough to buy a luxurious house or eat delicious and nutritous meal. They do not have ability to get a well-paid job because nowadays, many company and business request a good and high qualification. Therefore, poor people just can do manual work and their salary just enough to take care of themselve. What is more, people have to get a loan from mafia and this can lead to a big problems. Even their friends cand lend them money to use in a certain time or agency case but not at all, they have to borrow from strangers and their debt will increase day by day. In conclusion, the situation seems to be a matter need to have clear analysis from related people. I believe that familybond and friend and also property all are essetials.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, happiness can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from property and ownership.
However
, the others, claim that family bonds and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel comfortable. In my opinion, I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors need to
be considered
On the one hand, it’s explicit that the phenomenon has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prominent benefits.
Firstly
, reunion and meeting with family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
recharge their battery. Students, workers or
also
business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and anxiety, and they need someone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
Possible spelling mistake found.
releive
that fatigue.
For example
, the father
Possible spelling mistake found.
veey
tired with lots of works and tasks he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
do day at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
home, a happy smile of his
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
daughter when she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
him is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him happy and forget about his troubles.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are
also
Consider using a past participle here: "canned".
can
Possible spelling mistake found.
hellp
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel happier. A group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
arrange their time to have a meeting at the weekend, they confide everything to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
like angry, nervous or
also
pleasure. They can to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their mind and thinking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are at the same age and
therefore
, they
easily
understand and empathize with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it’s undeniable that
Possible spelling mistake found.
th
issues bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
thinkable problems. One of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
neccesary
consideration is that poor residents being unhappy even they have a large
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "family"?
families
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the lack of money and position in social. They do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a luxurious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
or eat delicious and
Possible spelling mistake found.
nutritous
meal. They do not have ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a well-paid job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and business request a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and high qualification.
Therefore
, poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
can do manual work and their salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to take care of
Possible spelling mistake found.
themselve
.
What is more
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a loan from mafia and this can lead to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "problem"?
problems
. Even their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
Possible spelling mistake found.
cand
lend them money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in a certain time or agency case
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not at all, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
borrow from strangers and their debt will increase day by day.
In conclusion
, the situation seems to be a matter need to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
analysis from related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
familybond
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
and
also
property all are
Possible spelling mistake found.
essetials
.
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IELTS essay Friends and family bring more happiness than money and possesions

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
380 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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