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What are the arguments for and against online shopping?

What are the arguments for and against online shopping? XDbwY
Currently, people prefer shopping online to going to physical store; however, this trend has both advantages and disadvantages. Today, I am going to discuss about them in the following essay. On the one hand, online shopping brings about many benefits. First of all, it proves to be more convenient. On the Internet, there are numerous e-commerce websites which we can browse through easily at home. As a result, it enables customers to purchase and compare prices of goods easily. Secondly, it is more budget-friendly to do shopping on the Internet as online stores often have many discounts throughout the year. For example, Shopee, a popular shopping websites in Viet Nam, not only has monthly sales but also offers numerous vouchers. On the other hand, there are drawbacks of online shopping. The first disadvantage is that consumers are unaware of the quality of the item since they cannot try it. For instance, my cousin made purchase on a dress that is advertised to be high-quality; however, when it arrived, it turned out to be poor-quality. Furthermore, it takes longer to return faulty products due to the delivery time. By the ways of conclusion, I believe that online shopping brings about benefits as well as drawbacks.
Currently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
to going to physical store;
however
, this trend has both advantages and disadvantages.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, I am going to
Did you mean simply "discuss them"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about them
in the following essay.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
brings about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it proves to be more convenient. On the Internet, there are numerous e-commerce websites which we can browse through
easily
at home.
As a result
, it enables customers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
and compare prices of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
easily
.
Secondly
, it is more budget-friendly to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
on the Internet as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
stores
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
discounts throughout the year.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shopee
, a popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
websites in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
has monthly sales
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
offers numerous vouchers.

On the other hand
, there are drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. The
first
disadvantage is that consumers are unaware of the quality of the item since they cannot try it.
For instance
, my cousin made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
on a dress that
is advertised
to be high-quality;
however
, when it arrived, it turned out to be poor-quality.
Furthermore
, it takes longer to return faulty products due to the delivery time.

By the ways of conclusion, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
brings about benefits
as well
as drawbacks.
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IELTS essay What are the arguments for and against online shopping?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
204 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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