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For some people, the ideal holiday is to get away from their normal routine by staying in a hotel or camping in a countryside. Others prefer to stay at home and do things they do not normally have time for. What do you think are the benefits of going away on holidays? v.1

For some people, the ideal holiday is to get away from their normal routine by staying in a hotel or camping in a countryside. Others prefer to stay at home and do things they do not normally have time for. What do you think are the benefits of going away on holidays? v. 1
Some people believe that the best holiday is when individuals relaxing at home, laying in their beds and watching TV or doing things that they usually cannot do because of lack of their time. However, I firmly believe that the most fabulous holiday is to go outside of people’s usual life and enjoy new experiences. This essay will discuss the advantages of spending holidays outside their homes. The first advantage of spending holiday outside people’s usual routine is that individuals will have new experiences and as a result, new positive emotions and feelings will emerge. For example, people can go to visit different countries such as France where they can visit Louvre or Eiffel Tower. There is no doubt that after visiting such places individuals will have an enormously positive energy for a long time. The second benefit that needs to be taken into consideration is that people can meet different people whom they did not know before and have a great conversation. For example, when individual goes outside even near the river for a camping there is a greater chance of meeting new person rather than staying at home. Therefore, individuals can communicate to each other, share their food, exchange their life experience and stories. For this reason, holidays outside people’s day-to-day routine can benefit persons in a much more positive way than spend holidays at home. To sum up, it is evident that there are different ways of spending holidays but the best way is to go away from people’s usual lifestyle. Holidays outside could benefit people in a greater way rather than staying at home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
is when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
relaxing at home, laying in their beds and watching TV or doing things that they
usually
cannot do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of their time.
However
, I
firmly
believe that the most fabulous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
is to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
usual life and enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
experiences. This essay will discuss the advantages of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
their homes.

The
first
advantage of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
usual routine is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
will have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
experiences and
as a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
emotions and feelings will emerge.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can go to visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries such as France where they can visit Louvre or Eiffel Tower. There is no doubt that after visiting such places
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
will have an
enormously
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
energy for a long time.

The second benefit that needs to
be taken
into consideration is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whom they did not know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and have a great conversation.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
goes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
even near the river for a camping there is a greater chance of meeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
person
rather
than staying at home.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can communicate to each other, share their food, exchange their life experience and stories.
For this reason
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
day-to-day routine can benefit persons in a much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way than spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
at home.

To sum up, it is evident that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the best way is to go away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
usual lifestyle.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Holidays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
could benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a greater way
rather
than staying at home.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay For some people, the ideal holiday is to get away from their normal routine by staying in a hotel or camping in a countryside. Others prefer to stay at home and do things they do not normally have time for. What do you think are the benefits of going away on holidays? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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