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For a long time art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However, nowadays people’s values have changed, and we tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts. What do you think are the causes of this?

For a long time art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However, nowadays people’s values have changed, and we tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts. What do you think are the causes of this? Nr8B2
It's an era of science. Science is leading every branch of society ranging from business to arts and culture. So, ultimately at the end of the day, people are seen to study and value science more than arts. Science has done a great to our life. It has gifted labour saving gadgets like blender, vacuum cleaner and pressure cooker to our homemakers. Global distance has been decreased by the wonder of aeroplanes and cars. To keep pace with the modern world, we have to invest money and do a lot of business. A nation or country has to be economically rich. Government has to manage jobs for the young people. So young people tends to do business than arts. Art is everywhere around our society, culture and writings. Art is important to relieve our thoughts. It broadens our mind with many ideas. We got to know many things from a fiction. Sometimes a simple form of performing arts can depict the human sufferings. Modern people are becoming more and more hectic, they do not have any time for themselves and they consider money is everything in their life. So, frankly speaking, the young generation don't find any interest in the field as it brings a little money than business and science. Moreover, the contents are not enough good to get more audiences. To conclude, science and business is very important for making progress in the world. Writers and activist in the field of arts should improve the content quality to draw the attention of the readers. Government should invest more on arts since it's related to our root.
It's an era of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
is leading every branch of society ranging from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and culture.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
ultimately
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
to study and value
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
more than arts.

Science has done a great to our life. It has gifted
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
labour saving
gadgets like blender, vacuum cleaner and pressure cooker to our homemakers. Global distance has
been decreased
by the wonder of
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplanes' is British English.
aeroplanes
and cars. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
pace with the modern world, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
invest money and do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. A nation or country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be
economically
rich.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
manage jobs for the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
tends
to do
Use "(business)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
business
than arts.

Art is everywhere around our society, culture and writings.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to relieve our thoughts. It broadens our mind with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
to know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things from a fiction.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
a simple form of performing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
can depict the human sufferings. Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming more and more hectic, they do not have any time for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
themselves and
they consider money is everything in their life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
frankly
speaking, the young generation don't find any interest in the field as it brings a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
money than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
.
Moreover
, the contents are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more audiences.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for making progress in the world. Writers and activist in the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the content quality to draw the attention of the readers.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should invest more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
since it's related to our root.
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IELTS essay For a long time art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However, nowadays people’s values have changed, and we tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts. What do you think are the causes of this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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