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First of all, people these days are so busy working because a group of people have hectic lifestyles.

First of all, people these days are so busy working because a group of people have hectic lifestyles. For example, they must earn money to pay their monthly expenses such as utility bills or rent, which means they have to spend an abundance of time to work and some may have ambitions to achieve such as promotion. This is because they cannot afford to go to a gym for workout after work. Furthermore, when they are off from work, they still feel exhausted and do not have enough energy left to move body. Eventually, that most people become a couch potato while doing preferring sedentary activities at home such as playing video games or watching TV. Thus, these circumstances may lead them not only to suffer from diseases such as diabetes, but also to decrease the level of health due to lack of exercise. In conclusion, some believe that.
First of all
,
people
these days are
so
busy working
because
a group of
people
have hectic lifestyles.
For example
, they
must
earn money to pay their monthly expenses such as utility bills or rent, which means they
have to
spend an abundance of time to work and
some
may have ambitions to achieve such as promotion. This is
because
they cannot afford to go to a gym for workout after work.
Furthermore
, when they are off from work, they
still
feel exhausted and do not have
enough
energy
left
to
move
body.
Eventually
, that most
people
become a couch potato while doing preferring sedentary activities at home such as playing video games or watching TV.
Thus
, these circumstances may lead them not
only
to suffer from diseases such as diabetes,
but
also
to decrease the level of health due to lack of exercise.

In conclusion
,
some
believe that.
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IELTS essay First of all, people these days are so busy working because a group of people have hectic lifestyles.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
149 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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