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Fire most important invention for humanity

Fire most important invention for humanity XqDYN
Presently this modern and straightforward world is exist only because of some invention that made by human. One of that example is fire. Fire is one of the greatest inventions for humankind. Firstly, we studied in our school period that fire was discovered accidentally by ancient human being through friction, before that they stored fire by burning locks for charcoal. Now we know that after invention of fire our life become more easy. For example we daily use fire for cooking, roasting, boiling and steaming. Without fire it is impossible to generate heat and light. We can heat the water by fire. It is useful when we go for hiking, people can prepare meal during hiking by fire and also can enjoy camp fire. Secondly, fire is useful in some industries like, in weapon making process moulding is essential part, which only done by fire. Another use of fire is that, cleaning land in agriculture industries. Other use of fire is for Hindus, like the biggest festival for Hindus is called Diwali and it is is also known as festival of light. Indians light up candles and lamps in their home. Mostly Western countries are are cold so that people who living their use fire for heat up their atmosphere. In conclusion, every invention has their merits and demerits. For example, in garbage burning process some toxic type of gases produced that's why become air pollution also soil pollution. Fear of forest fire by that wild animals are in danger. Global warming also happened by the smoke produced during fire. However, every cloud has a silver lining, we cannot ignore the uses and important of fire in our life.
Presently
this modern and straightforward world is
Consider using a past participle here: "existed".
exist
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only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
invention that made by human. One of that example is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fire
is one of the greatest inventions for humankind.

Firstly
, we studied in our school period that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
was discovered
accidentally
by ancient human being through friction,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
that they stored
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
by burning locks for charcoal.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
we know that after invention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
our life become more easy. For
The comma is probably missing here: "example, we".
example we
daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
for cooking, roasting, boiling and steaming. Without
The comma is probably missing here: "fire, it".
fire it
is impossible to generate heat and light. We can heat the water by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
. It is useful when we go for hiking,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can prepare meal during hiking by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
and
also
can enjoy camp fire.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
is useful in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
industries like, in weapon making process
Possible spelling mistake. 'moulding' is British English.
moulding
is essential part, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
done by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
. Another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
is that, cleaning land in agriculture industries. Other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
is for Hindus, like the biggest festival for Hindus
is called
Diwali and it
Possible typo: you repeated a word
is is
also
known as festival of light. Indians light up candles and lamps in their home.
Mostly
Western countries
Possible typo: you repeated a word
are are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who living their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
for heat up their atmosphere.

In conclusion
, every invention has their merits and demerits.
For example
, in garbage burning process
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
toxic type of gases produced that's why become air pollution
also
soil pollution. Fear of forest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
by that wild animals are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
. Global warming
also
happened by the smoke produced during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
.
However
, every cloud has a silver lining, we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
in our life.
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IELTS essay Fire most important invention for humanity

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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