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Financial Aid task 1 of IELTS

Financial Aid task 1 of IELTS jbaBN

I am currently enrolled in my last year of B. Tech at a Tier 3 college in India. I am currently enrolled as a first-year undergraduate student at my college. My father is a rural farmer in India. He earns approximately 120 USD per month. My mother is a stay-at-home mother who continues to assist my father. As a result, I am unable to finance this course. My father works for a landlord and we do not owing to any land. Apart from this, I have two additional younger siblings who are still in high school. To add to our anguish, my grandmother is frequently ill. A significant amount of money is spent on her medical checkups and medications. As a result, I am in desperate need of financial assistance. I'm interested in taking this course because I'm eager to learn. This course will significantly improve my work prospects upon graduation from my institute. It will aid me in comprehending and mastering this technology, giving me an edge over my competitors. A validated certificate will lend legitimacy to the certificate I obtain at the conclusion of this course. As I have done in past Signature Track Courses, I intend to finish all assignments on time or early. Additionally, I expect to participate in Discussion Forums, which I have found to be an invaluable supplement to my learning in the previous Coursera online courses I have completed. Additionally, I want to assess peer-reviewed assignments, which I believe will be a great learning experience.

I am currently
 enrolled in my last year of B. Tech at a Tier 3 college in India. I am currently
 enrolled as a first
-year undergraduate student at my college. My father is a rural farmer in India. He earns approximately 120 USD per month. My mother is a stay-at-home mother who continues to assist my father. As a result
, I am unable to finance this You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdevelopmentseriessystemprogramplanway
course
. My father works for a Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).landlord, and
landlord and
 we do not After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "owe"?owe
owing
 to any land. Apart from this, I have two additional younger siblings who are still
 in high school. To This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :accrue
add
 to our anguish, my grandmother is frequently
 ill. A significant amount of money is spent
 on her medical checkups and medications. As a result
, I am in desperate need of financial assistance. I'm interested in taking this You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdevelopmentseriessystemprogramplanway
course
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 I'm eager to learn. This You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdevelopmentseriessystemprogramplanway
course
 will significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :ameliorate
improve
 my work prospects upon graduation from my institute. It will aid me in comprehending and mastering this technology, giving me an edge over my competitors. A validated certificate will lend legitimacy to the certificate I obtain at the conclusion of this You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdevelopmentseriessystemprogramplanway
course
. As I have done in past Signature This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :monitor
Track
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdevelopmentseriessystemprogramplanway
Courses
, I intend to finish all assignments on time or early. Additionally
, I This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :anticipate
expect
 to participate in Discussion Forums, which I have found to be an invaluable supplement to my learning in the previous Coursera online You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdevelopmentseriessystemprogramplanway
courses
 I have completed. Two successive sentences begin with the same adverb. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Additionally
, I want to assess peer-reviewed assignments, which I believe will be a great learning experience. 