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Films and games can be accessed at any time from mobile devices like smart phones, tablets and laptop computer. Do the advantages of such development outweigh the disadvantage?

Films and games can be accessed at any time from mobile devices like smart phones, tablets and laptop computer. Do the advantages of such development outweigh the disadvantage? GBMB
Technology and innovation has given rise to the invention of portable mobile devices. Nowadays, movies and games are easily accessible through these gadgets such as smartphones, tablets and laptops. In my view, I believe this trend comes with many benefits which would be further explored in this essay. One obvious advantage is that, people can easily watch films or play their favourite games at their own convenient time. Therefore, they do not have to rush to tune in to a channel to catch up with their desired TV shows since they have handy and ready to use devices. For instance, some people watch their favorite program on their phones while having breakfast. In addition to the point highlighted above, another benefit is that people do not have to subscribe to cable networks or buy video game consoles as this will be optional. Since most cable networks subscription fees are very expensive, people prefer to watch movies on their phones. To illustrate this, people prefer to watch movies on Netflix with their tablets or laptops. Another example is that most teenagers play different varieties of online games, such as tennis or football matches using their smart devices, hence they do not need to buy PlaySation or Xbox console. Despite the advantages discussed above, It will be erroneous not to mention that excessive use of these devices can lead to distraction in youngsters as they misuse their phones to watch and play games that are not age appropriate. In spite of this, the benefits still outweigh the disadvantages as these devices are easy to carry around. Thus, people can play their favourite games and watch movies on mobile phones without having to subscribe to cable networks.
Technology and innovation has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
rise to the invention of portable mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
easily
accessible through these gadgets such as smartphones, tablets and laptops. In my view, I believe this trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits which would be
further
explored in this essay.

One obvious advantage is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
films or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
convenient time.
Therefore
, they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
rush to tune in to a channel to catch up with their desired TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
since they have handy and ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
their favorite program on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
while having breakfast.

In addition
to the point highlighted above, another benefit is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
subscribe to cable networks or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
video game consoles as this will be optional. Since most cable networks subscription fees are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. To illustrate this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on Netflix with their tablets or laptops. Another example is that most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
varieties of online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, such as tennis or football matches using their smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
,
hence
they do not need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
Possible spelling mistake found.
PlaySation
or Xbox console.

Despite the advantages discussed above, It will be erroneous not to mention that excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
can lead to distraction in youngsters as they misuse their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
that are not age appropriate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
this, the benefits
still
outweigh the disadvantages as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
are easy to carry around.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
without having to subscribe to cable networks.
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IELTS essay Films and games can be accessed at any time from mobile devices like smart phones, tablets and laptop computer. Do the advantages of such development outweigh the disadvantage?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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