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fewer young people who listen to classical music. Why? Should it be encouraged?

fewer young people who listen to classical music. Why? Should it be encouraged? eYaK
With the advent of modernization and westernization, the popularity of classical folk music has taken an edge off among teenagers. This is the era of remixes where young people have more alacrity towards the pop and loud music. This essay would discuss some probable causes of this trend. To start with, people’s taste of music has been upgraded due to the ubiquitous influence of western propaganda. This is the modern generation where celebrities and hashtags are being followed more than any other thing. People tend to copy their favourite young celebrity’s lifestyle and choices and as a result, get influenced to listen to popular music only, just like their role models. Not only this, internet has totally transformed the lives of people, any new song or video clip gets viral overnight due to its humorous content, talented new voiceovers or even because of the composition of music. Consequently, the popularity of new music rises among people. From composer’s perspective, making remixes is way more easier and money making than sticking to the traditional music which is harder to compose and gets lesser attention in the market. Thus, no new classical music is available in the industry to follow. All things considered, the inclination of youngsters towards classical music should be encouraged a little by composing new traditional songs, giving a few classical music classes in high school so that it doesn’t get vanished and our next generations can experience some of our classical music too.
With the advent of modernization and
Possible incorrect capitalization. Some nouns that are derived from proper nouns can have both an initial capital letter and an initial lower case letter. If there is a close association with the proper noun, use "Westernization".
westernization
, the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
folk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has taken an edge off among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. This is the era of remixes where young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more alacrity towards the pop and loud
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. This essay would discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
probable causes of this trend.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
taste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has
been upgraded
due to the ubiquitous influence of western propaganda. This is the modern generation where celebrities and hashtags are
being followed
more than any other thing.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
tend to copy their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
young celebrity’s lifestyle and choices and
as a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
get
influenced to listen to popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like their role models.

Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this, internet has
totally
transformed the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
song or video clip
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gets
viral overnight due to its humorous content, talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Possible spelling mistake found.
voiceovers
or even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the composition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
Consequently
, the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
rises among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. From composer’s perspective, making remixes is way
Use only "easier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more easier
and money making than sticking to the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
which is harder to compose and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gets
lesser attention in the market.
Thus
, no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is available in the industry to follow.

All things considered, the inclination of youngsters towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
should
be encouraged
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
by composing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
traditional songs, giving a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
classes in high school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it doesn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
get
vanished and our
next
generations can experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
too.
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IELTS essay fewer young people who listen to classical music. Why? Should it be encouraged?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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