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Few parents think that watching a lot of TV programm are hardmful for their children during school days. They try to avoid watch TV despite many benefit of the television. Others think that it is beneficial for children as long as after school work is finished.

Few parents think that watching a lot of TV programm are hardmful for their children during school days. They try to avoid watch TV despite many benefit of the television. Others think that it is beneficial for children as long as after school work is finished. 6l73W
But I absolutely disagree with this opinion because of several reasons which will be discussed in deeps in this essay. On the one side, it might be said that, children enjoy watch TV or playing vidio games in spite fo some negatives. First of all, parents are allowing their children to use of the big screen for various goals. As a result, it cause several harms and negatives. Secondly, watching TV programmes for long -term bring two main issues for example physical and mental problem. Moreover, the main factor that the major physical problem is the sedentarly lifestyle which these TV programms encourage meaning that youngesters may incline to obesity or in adequate development. Not only for this reason but also, this is the strain on eyesight resneting from exessive use of the screen. Fuurthermore, children may suffer symptoms of poor vision by the way during the school days it bring some minors for children's mind. For instance, as we can see anyone can not imagine without that sort of machines and divices. Hence, these are becoming on intergral part of the life between mass young children it is really worrying challange for all parent consequances, children are forgetting a school curriculum and home tasks easely. Furthermore, children unable to socialise with family and peers. this undermines both academically and socially in nutshell, parents must avoid watch TV for long time during school days and other times. All in all, it clearly sums that for learners watching TV is not a good way also it cause many negatives in their life. I believe that, parents try to reduce watching TV with their children in school days.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
absolutely
disagree with this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of several reasons which will
be discussed
in deeps in this essay.

On the one side, it might
be said
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
enjoy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV or playing
Possible spelling mistake found.
vidio
games in spite
Possible spelling mistake found.
fo
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
negatives.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are allowing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
screen for various goals.
As a result
, it
Did you mean "causes"?
cause
several harms and negatives.
Secondly
, watching TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
for long -term bring two main issues
for example
physical and mental problem.
Moreover
, the main factor that the major physical problem is the
Possible spelling mistake found.
sedentarly
lifestyle which
Did you mean "this TV" or ""?
these TV
Possible spelling mistake found.
programms
encourage meaning that
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngesters
may incline to obesity or in adequate development. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for this reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, this is the strain on eyesight
Possible spelling mistake found.
resneting
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
exessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the screen.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fuurthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may suffer symptoms of poor vision by the way during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
days it
Did you mean "brings"?
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
minors for children's mind.
For instance
, as we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
anyone can not imagine without that sort of machines and
Possible spelling mistake found.
divices
.
Hence
, these are becoming on
Possible spelling mistake found.
intergral
part of the life between mass young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
it is
really
worrying
Possible spelling mistake found.
challange
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
Possible spelling mistake found.
consequances
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are forgetting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum and home tasks
Possible spelling mistake found.
easely
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
unable to
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
with family and peers.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
undermines both
academically
and
socially
in nutshell,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
avoid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV for long time during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
days and other times.

All in all, it
clearly
sums that for learners watching TV is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way
also
it
Did you mean "causes"?
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
negatives in their life. I believe that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
watching TV with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
days.
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IELTS essay Few parents think that watching a lot of TV programm are hardmful for their children during school days. They try to avoid watch TV despite many benefit of the television. Others think that it is beneficial for children as long as after school work is finished.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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