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feture and past of my self

feture and past of my self EN3Y3
Everything has changed over time depending on the environment, experience, and new situation then humans learned and adapted themselves to survive and socialize. Due to the fact that individuals develop and improve themselves at all times therefore my past, my present, and my future are continually changing. As time passes, my physical appearance, attitude towards something, and responsibilities for my work are all altered. To begin with, the majority of people always have something that is crucial for them, for example their favorite pencil, the special gift from a special person, or their diary. Hair is one of my favorite parts of my body therefore I always take care of it and do not want to cut them. One day I saw a poster about cancer foundation which stated that they needed people to donate hair for people with cancer. I realized that my hair keeps getting longer but people with cancer do not have it and they cannot have their own hair. After that I made a decision to donate my hair for them. Therefore, in the past I had long hair but now I have donated my hair therefore I have short hair. In the future I will keep donating my hair because I am ecstatic to do that. In addition, some groups of people have natural talents but some people need to rehearse for being exceptional which is called frequent training. I am one of those people who was not born with natural talents at English. I always hate and inattentive to it. When I went to New Zealand, I was crying for a couple months because I did not understand the subject. In the third month I stopped crying because my sister said that I have more chances than others. I realized that English was important and I can enhance it. Then I rehearsaled my english skills and now I have changed my attitude towards English but do not think it is easy I just open up to it. In the future I will continue to improve my English skills and make it into a talent. Furthermore, Homework is one of thing that majority of children do not prefer, and when I was young I always hate and procrastinate homework but one day I realized that homework provides me with a great chance to make a revision on key information moreover long term memory can be done by homework and now I always do homework on mature. I think that it is good when teachers see my homework and understand how much I can comprehend their subject. Moreover, they can utilize the homework and academic evidence to assist my study, as a result, I can improve my learning performance. In the future I will always do my homework because it will be beneficial for myself. In summary, I personally believe that the world always changes due to the fact that Earth orbits around the sun and never stops, same as humans which always change over time. I think my change was good because I had learned and it made me become a better version of myself. Moreover, I realized that every situation, even if it was an unsatisfactory situation. Those experiences made individuals grow up and change their point of view for something.
Everything has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
depending on the environment, experience, and new situation then humans learned and adapted themselves to survive and socialize. Due to the fact that individuals develop and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves at all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
my past, my present, and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
are
continually
changing. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
passes, my physical appearance, attitude towards something, and responsibilities for my work are all altered.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always have something
that is
crucial for them,
for example
their favorite pencil, the special gift from a special person, or their diary.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hair
is one of my favorite parts of my body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
I always take care of it and do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
them. One day I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a poster about cancer foundation which stated that they needed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to donate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hair
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with cancer. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
realized
that my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hair
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
getting longer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with cancer do not have
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
they cannot have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hair
. After that I made a decision to donate my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hair
for them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, in the past I had long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hair
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I have donated my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
I have short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hair
. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
donating my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hair
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I am ecstatic to do that.

In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have natural talents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to rehearse for being exceptional which
is called
frequent training. I am one of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who was not born with natural talents at English. I always hate and inattentive to it. When I went to New Zealand, I was crying for a
Did you mean "couple of"? (In formal written English 'of' should follow 'couple'.)
couple
months
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I did not understand the subject. In the third month I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
crying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
my sister said that I have more chances than others. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
realized
that English was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and I can enhance it. Then I
Possible spelling mistake found.
rehearsaled
my
Possible spelling mistake found.
english
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
my attitude towards English
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is easy I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
open up to it. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
I will continue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
my English
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it into a talent.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Homework
is one of thing that majority of children do not prefer, and when I was young I always hate and procrastinate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one day I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
realized
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
provides me with a great chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a revision on key information
moreover
long term memory can
be done
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I always do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
on mature. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
when teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
and understand how much I can comprehend their subject.
Moreover
, they can utilize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
and academic evidence to assist my study,
as a result
, I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
my learning performance. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
I will always do my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will be beneficial for myself.

In summary, I
personally
believe that the world always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
due to the fact that Earth orbits around the sun and never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
, same as humans which always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I had learned and it made me become a better version of myself.
Moreover
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
realized
that every situation, even if it was an unsatisfactory situation. Those experiences made individuals grow up and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their point of view for something.
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IELTS essay feture and past of my self

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
547 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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