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feel unsafe at home and in the public ,causes and solutions

feel unsafe at home and in the public, causes and solutions 2VDX
Some studies revealed that some individuals feel a loss of security when staying in private areas and public situations. In this essay, I would talk about few possible causes for this phenomenon and feasible solutions. People may be scared to go to crowded places like the packed supermarket, cinema or closed small room that's impossible to escape within a short period or stay alone in an unfamiliar occasion even in their own house due to the medical social phobia. To conquer this kind of fear, look at the mirror and speak out loudly. ‘I believe that I can get along with others. ' could be effective. Or try to find a quiet, cozy area sit down with eyes closed, imagining you are exposed in rendezvous surrounded by green hills and blue waters. Go for the psychology consultant could be a superb approach.  According to the newsletters, that's not unrare to find reports relevant to the stabbing, discrimination, especially after this epidemic's breakout. I have read several articles on Asians insulted by a passerby, got bruise all over the body. A greater police force is needed to make sure the safety of citizens. At the entrance of public places, security personnel should take their responsibilities to ensure all the customers are free of weapon. Governors should take valid measurements to slow down the spread of this dreadful virus. In a nutshell, officials should pay more attention to citizens' mental health and psychological status and encourage them to learn from other cultures to eliminate misunderstandings.
Some
studies revealed that
some
individuals feel a loss of security when staying in private areas and public situations. In this essay, I would talk about few possible causes for this phenomenon and feasible solutions.
People
may
be scared
to go to crowded places like the packed supermarket, cinema or closed
small
room that's impossible to escape within a short period or stay alone in an unfamiliar occasion even in their
own
house
due to the medical social phobia. To conquer this kind of fear,
look at the mirror
and speak out
loudly
. ‘I believe that I can
get
along with others. '
could
be effective. Or try to find a quiet, cozy area sit down with eyes closed, imagining you
are exposed
 in rendezvous surrounded by green hills and blue waters. Go for the psychology consultant could be a superb approach.  According to the newsletters, that's not
unrare
to find reports relevant to the stabbing, discrimination,
especially
after this epidemic's breakout. I have read several articles on Asians insulted by a passerby,
got
bruise all over the body. A greater police force
is needed
to
make
sure the safety of citizens. At the entrance of public places, security personnel should take their responsibilities to ensure all the customers are free of weapon. Governors should take valid measurements to slow down the spread of this dreadful virus. In a nutshell, officials should pay more attention to citizens' mental health and psychological status and encourage them to learn from other cultures to eliminate misunderstandings.
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IELTS essay feel unsafe at home and in the public, causes and solutions

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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