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Fatherhood must be emphasized as much as motherhood.

Fatherhood must be emphasized as much as motherhood. rLx7o
The word "parents" is not just a word. It means a lot to the world. Not every woman can be a mother and not every mother can be a good mother as well as not every man can be a father and not every father can be a good father, because of that everyone’s opinion is that parenthood is the greatest role in the world. So, when we are talking about motherhood, it is the best title which can be obtain by a woman. Mother has to keep baby in her womb in ten months and she is able to cope with all the discomforts and other changes in her body because of the baby. After baby is born, mother should have to do every works that related to baby. Because of all these sacrifices that are done by mother, the mother is named the Buddha at home. From the moment the child is conceived, the father's responsibilities, love, and care are being doubled, and he has to take care of mother as well as baby. There is a saying that “father's love is like a conductor's rupee”, which means father does not show his love to their children, but he gives his love and care sometimes more than mother. Every father needs to provide good citizen for the society, and he needs to take his children to the higher place than where he is. So, sometimes the father may be rude, sometimes he may be punishing to children, but he does not do it with his mind. The only thing the father needs is a good child. That is why the fatherly love is like a conductor’s rupee because he loves his children so much, but he does not show it. To conclude, I would like to say, “It was not enough to write poems and songs for fatherly love”. In fact, the father is the hero of every child's world. And the love of the father is not second to the love of the mother, it flows parallelly.
The word
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
parents
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a word. It means a lot to the world. Not every woman can be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
and not every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
can be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
as well
as not every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
can be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
and not every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
can be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that everyone’s opinion is that parenthood is the greatest role in the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, when we are talking about motherhood, it is the best title which can be
Consider using the past participle "obtained"?
obtain
by a woman.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mother
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
baby in her womb in ten
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
months and
she is able to cope with all the discomforts and other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in her body
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the baby. After baby
is born
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "work"?
works
that related to baby.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of all these sacrifices that
are done
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
is named
the Buddha at home.

From the moment the child
is conceived
, the father's responsibilities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
, and care are
being doubled
, and he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
as well
as baby. There is a saying that “father's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
is like a conductor's rupee”, which means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he gives his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
and care
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
needs to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
citizen for the society, and he needs to take his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to the higher place than where he is.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
may be rude,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
he may be punishing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he does not do it with his mind. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
needs is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
child.
That is
why the
fatherly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
is like a conductor’s rupee
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loves
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
it.

To conclude
, I would like to say, “It was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to write poems and songs for
fatherly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love”
. In fact, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
is the hero of every child's world. And the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
is not second to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
, it flows
Possible spelling mistake found.
parallelly
.
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IELTS essay Fatherhood must be emphasized as much as motherhood.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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