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Fast food consumption is increasing. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Fast food consumption is increasing. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? XnK2A
In the modern world, ready-to-eat food has aided people in managing their fast-paced lifestyles smoothly. While there are certain advantages of having convenience food such as low time as well as energy consumption, I believe that the disadvantages involving various health problems and addiction outweigh them. Talking about the positives first, the most obvious benefit that ready-made food brings is one of saving time and energy. In other words, such food items require much lesser time and effort as compared to the traditional ways of cooking food. Frozen food products, for instance, are most commonly used in some developed nations nowadays where the working-class citizens can hardly spare any time for cooking. Additionally, convenient food items are easy to prepare and do not entail special culinary skills. Hence, such food products are more popular among the young generation who just grab a quick bite and rush to their work. Coming to the negatives of the rise in popularity of processed eatables, physical health issues are prevailing faster than ever before. The canned or dehydrated food items are less nutritious than home-cooked food, and as a consequence, causes varied diseases such as obesity, indigestion, and heart problems. To illustrate, as per a recent survey report, more than 70 percent of the Americans are considered obese as they mostly prefer eating fast food over home-cooked food. Furthermore, such eating habits often give rise to addiction as fast food items pamper our taste buds, in turn, making people incline even more towards an unhealthy lifestyle. In conclusion, despite the benefits of a rise in convenience food such as quick and easy preparation, the adverse physical health impacts of having such items should not be ignored. In my view, there are more disadvantages to having ready-made food than any number of advantages these can bring.
In the modern world, ready-to-eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has aided
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in managing their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced lifestyles
smoothly
. While there are certain advantages of having convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
such as low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as well
as energy consumption, I believe that the disadvantages involving various health problems and addiction outweigh them.

Talking about the positives
first
, the most obvious benefit that ready-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
brings is one of saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and energy.
In other words
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
require much lesser
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and effort as compared to the traditional ways of cooking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Frozen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products,
for instance
, are most
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
developed nations nowadays where the working-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
citizens can hardly spare any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for cooking.
Additionally
, convenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
are easy to prepare and do not entail special culinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Hence
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products are more popular among the young generation who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
grab a quick bite and rush to their work.

Coming to the negatives of the rise in popularity of processed eatables, physical health issues are prevailing faster than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. The canned or dehydrated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
are less nutritious than home-cooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, and as a consequence, causes varied diseases such as obesity, indigestion, and heart problems. To illustrate, as per a recent survey report, more than 70 percent of the Americans
are considered
obese as they
mostly
prefer eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
over home-cooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Furthermore
, such eating habits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
give rise to addiction as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
pamper our taste buds, in turn, making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
incline even more towards an unhealthy lifestyle.

In conclusion
, despite the benefits of a rise in convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
such as quick and easy preparation, the adverse physical health impacts of having such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. In my view, there are more disadvantages to having ready-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
than any number of advantages these can bring.
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IELTS essay Fast food consumption is increasing. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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