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family system agree or disagree

family system agree or disagree eAqpx
The importance of joint families which was always debatable has become more controversial that a number of people claiming that it is beneficial while others reject this notion. The substantial influence of this trend has sparked over the potential impact in recent years. In my opinion the structure of joint families is shifting to nuclear. In this essay will further elaborate. To begin with, analyzing the statement and discussing further, Firstly, the foremost reason behind this is that due to heavy industrialization, there is modernization which generates global jobs opportunities. Secondly, striking benefits in this regard is that due to jobs people migrate for better future. categorically discussing it cannot be ignored that the main logic behind this is that after migration there is a strong impact of global culture and individual dislike interference and sharing so, the structure of the family changes. Furthermore, one of the main underlying logic stems from the fact is that during past, the families were homogeneous and the business was common. In addition it is relevant to mention that nowadays the culture is heterogeneous and people prefer independent growth. Moreover, people prefer to work according to their qualifications, interest, and abilities. so, the family business is not common and the income is not clubbed. In conclusion, according to the arguments aforementioned above, it is sad to observe that structure of the family is changing from joint to nuclear.
The importance of joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
which was always debatable has become more controversial that a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claiming that it is beneficial while others reject this notion. The substantial influence of this trend has sparked over the potential impact in recent years. In my opinion the structure of joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
is shifting to nuclear. In this essay will
further
elaborate.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, analyzing the statement and discussing
further
,
Firstly
, the foremost reason behind this is that due to heavy industrialization, there is modernization which generates global jobs opportunities.
Secondly
, striking benefits in this regard is that due to jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrate for better future.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
categorically
discussing it cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
that the main logic behind this is that after migration there is a strong impact of global culture and individual dislike interference and sharing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the structure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.

Furthermore
, one of the main underlying logic stems from the fact is that during past, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
were homogeneous and the business was common. In
The comma is probably missing here: "addition, it".
addition it
is relevant to mention that nowadays the culture is heterogeneous and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer independent growth.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to work according to their qualifications, interest, and abilities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
business is not common and the income is not clubbed.

In conclusion
, according to the arguments aforementioned above, it is sad to observe that structure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is changing from joint to nuclear.
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IELTS essay family system agree or disagree

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
234 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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