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Families tend to like traveling together but due to many

Families tend to like traveling together but due to many PM1qX
In the recent past, business trips are one of the most common reasons why people travel abroad. Families tend to like traveling together but due to many reasons, this does not happen often. Every individual in the family tends to be preoccupied with various occupations like school for children, and couples working in different industries hence will work against one person's convenience. On the other hand, it might be a good experience to travel with family, experiencing new places and interacting with beautiful places together. Indeed it is a very fulfilling experience. In my view, Traveling as a family for official business abroad has more disadvantages than advantages. Firstly, family bonds become strong when they travel to new places together. However, the current world has become competitive. For this reason, partners are likely to be working in different sectors at any given time to provide for the family making it difficult to have a common time to travel when one has a business trip abroad. When they travel together will make one person lose time in their profession or business hence time and resource wasting. Secondly, school-going children, who are members of the family may be forced to remain behind without parent which is not good for them. For example, in the year 2016, I had a two months’ work trip to Kampala, even though the family could join it would mean my wife to take off and children to temporarily miss school days. I ended up going alone because it was going to cost the family a lot. Traveling abroad for business trips is one of the best experiences of a lifetime. For the family, it may be advantageous if they all travel together while combining business and holiday. They grow strong bonds and experiences. For example, nearly all people tend to have better output and results at work when they stay close to their families as compared to those who have to organize and visit family far away. In conclusion, traveling abroad with or without family for a business trip may bring a mixed response to work output. It is fulfilling to travel with family and it may be inconvenient to one or more family members. I think it is, therefore, better to travel alone for business trips abroad and let family members achieve their respective functions.
In the recent past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
are one of the most common reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Families
tend to like traveling together
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons, this does not happen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
. Every individual in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
tends to
be preoccupied
with various occupations like school for children, and couples working in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
industries
hence
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
against one person's convenience.
On the other hand
, it might be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, experiencing new places and interacting with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
places together.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Indeed
it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fulfilling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. In my view, Traveling as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
for official
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
has more disadvantages than advantages.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bonds become strong when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to new places together.
However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
world has become competitive.
For this reason
, partners are likely to be working in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sectors at any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to provide for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
making it difficult to have a common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
when one has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
. When they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
together will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
one person lose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in their profession or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and resource wasting.
Secondly
, school-going children, who are members of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
may
be forced
to remain behind without parent which is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for them.
For example
, in the year 2016, I had a two months’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
to Kampala,
even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
it would mean my wife to take off and children to
temporarily
miss school days. I ended up going alone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it was going to cost the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
a lot.

Traveling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
is one of the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
of a lifetime. For the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, it may be advantageous if they all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
together while combining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and holiday. They grow strong bonds and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
.
For example
,
nearly
all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to have better output and results at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
when they stay close to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
as compared to those who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
organize and visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
far away.

In conclusion
, traveling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
with or without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
may bring a mixed response to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
output. It is fulfilling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and it may be inconvenient to one or more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is,
therefore
, better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
alone for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members achieve their respective functions.
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IELTS essay Families tend to like traveling together but due to many

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
389 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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