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Facing number of issues by old people is common.whether it is physical or mental, is considered by certain individuals whereas opponents beleive current living is good as compared to ancient days for the same people. I will discuss both views along with my opinion.

Facing number of issues by old people is common. whether it is physical or mental, is considered by certain individuals whereas opponents beleive current living is good as compared to ancient days for the same people. I will RV06W
To commence with, why old people getting bad? Advanced technology is the main reason behind this. As every gadget is available in houses which used by old people to done their work. Although these things make the work easy to do, the elder individual get obbssesed with it. That's why they do not do any physical activity. As result, this leads them to face physical problems which they did not have in past days due to moving their body for works. A part from this, air conditioner make thier body weak. For instance, doctors said that it is not good to sit alot under the air conditioner that results bones weak and knees and back pains easily. On the other side, the old person having better life in cases of traveling and medication. Whatever disease elder ones have is cured by the treatments and medicines available nowadays. So that they are living better. For example, a survey is conducted in india that 56% old individual are happy that they treat thier big physical issues like cancer. Some elder people are disable and can not go anywhere in ancient time but these days they can enjoy every destination due to excellent transportation. In conclusion, although old people have some disadvantages of this era, many appropriate things are there for them which they did not have in past few years.
To commence with, why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
? Advanced technology is the main reason behind this.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
every gadget is available in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to done their work. Although these things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the work easy to do, the elder individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
obbssesed
with it. That's why they do not do any physical activity. As result, this leads them to face physical problems which they did not have in past days due to moving their body for works. A part from this, air conditioner
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
body weak.
For instance
, doctors said that it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to sit
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
under the air conditioner that results bones weak and knees and back pains
easily
. On the other side, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
person having better life in cases of traveling and medication. Whatever disease elder ones have
is cured
by the treatments and medicines available nowadays.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
they are living better.
For example
, a survey
is conducted
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
that 56%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
individual are happy that they treat
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
physical issues like cancer.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
Consider using a past participle here: "disabled".
disable
and can not go anywhere in ancient time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these days they can enjoy every destination due to excellent transportation.
In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages of this era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
appropriate things are there for them which they did not have in past few years.
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IELTS essay Facing number of issues by old people is common. whether it is physical or mental, is considered by certain individuals whereas opponents beleive current living is good as compared to ancient days for the same people. I will

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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