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Facebook is becoming more and more central to our life as it has obvious benefits, but there are dangers it may exert over our lives.

Facebook is becoming more and more central to our life as it has obvious benefits, but there are dangers it may exert over our lives. 1159X
Following in the footsteps of printing technology, the advent of the internet into millions of lives was an epoch-making event, which once again breathed new life to the world of communication. Supposedly, the term social media is no strange thing to anybody, particularly Facebook being used internationally. Nevertheless, I believe that there is no rose without a thorn, Facebook may be beneficial, but seemingly filled with unforeseeable dangers. On the one hand, Facebook has been ranked one of the most-used apps globally for ample reasons. The first and foremost merit of Facebook is the instantly-formed connection among internet users. With many kinds of messenger services on offer 24/7, it offers a place where people can freely update their status day in and day out. For those who are dealing with difficulty but can share their feelings with real-life beings, they can obtain numerous constructive advice using Facebook while their anonymity is securely concealed. In addition to that, this immediate contact has also paved the way for many other areas such as e-commerce, information, entertainment, fundraising activities, etc. Notwithstanding these aforementioned great sides of Facebook, it may also exert negative impacts on its users, especially the juvenile. In this day and age, parents usually bury themselves in work, and leave their children, who are mentally immature and fairly impressionable at their tender age, roaming free on Facebook by themselves. This act, I believe, is highly detrimental as it can lead to several undesirable behaviors to develop which possibly last into adolescence, such as being continuously disobedient and keeping their eyes glued for hours. Also, the cyber world can be a paradise for internet criminals to enact their crime on innocent victims. The number of illegal cases reportedly involving internet usage is on the rise, making it unsafe for young kids to use Facebook without parental surveillance. Long story short, an ideal world indeed cannot come to life without social media like Facebook, but it does not excuse its serious underlying dangers. I suppose should internet users be fully equipped with adequate knowledge and skills, those downsides will be outweighed undeniably.
Following in the footsteps of printing technology, the advent of the internet into millions of
lives
was an epoch-making
event
, which once again breathed new life to the world of communication.
Supposedly
, the term social media is no strange thing to anybody,
particularly
Facebook being
used
internationally
.
Nevertheless
, I believe that there is no rose without a thorn, Facebook may be beneficial,
but
seemingly
filled with unforeseeable
dangers
.

On the one hand, Facebook has
been ranked
one of the most-
used
apps globally for ample reasons. The
first
and foremost merit of Facebook is the
instantly
-formed connection among internet users. With
many
kinds of messenger services on offer 24/7, it offers a place where
people
can
freely
update their status day in and day out. For those who are dealing with difficulty
but
can share their feelings with real-life beings, they can obtain numerous constructive advice using Facebook while their anonymity is
securely
concealed.
In addition
to that, this immediate contact has
also
paved the way for
many
other areas such as e-commerce, information, entertainment, fundraising activities, etc.

Notwithstanding these aforementioned great sides of Facebook, it may
also
exert
negative
impacts on its users,
especially
the juvenile. In this day and age, parents
usually
bury themselves in work, and
leave
their children, who are mentally immature and
fairly
impressionable at their tender age, roaming free on Facebook by themselves. This act, I believe, is
highly
detrimental as it can lead to several undesirable behaviors to develop which
possibly
last into adolescence, such as being
continuously
disobedient and keeping their eyes glued for hours.
Also
, the cyber world can be a paradise for internet criminals to enact their crime on innocent victims. The number of illegal cases reportedly involving internet usage is on the rise, making it unsafe for young kids to
use
Facebook without parental surveillance.

Long story short, an ideal world
indeed
cannot
come
to life without social media like Facebook,
but
it does not excuse its serious underlying
dangers
. I suppose should internet users be
fully
equipped with adequate knowledge and
skills
, those downsides will
be outweighed
undeniably
.
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IELTS essay Facebook is becoming more and more central to our life as it has obvious benefits, but there are dangers it may exert over our lives.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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