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Facebook destroys communication among family members. Do you agree?

Facebook destroys communication among family members. Do you agree? GrVKo
There are many people using FB which also means they are destroying communications - one of the most important things in life. First, FB destroys the communication environment between family members. Beyond that, Fb makes people depend on it when communicating makes it harder and harder to speak face to face. They think just talking on Fb Messenger is enough to describe the state and emotions, and when speaking in real life, it is challenging for you to communicate comfortably and smoothly. Secondly, conversations with each other are decreasing because people use fb too instead of talking face to face. Moreover, Fb users want to make friends and talk to strangers on fb more than talk to their parents and family. That makes family feelings go down. Last but not least, close encounters, the fun becomes more difficult. Instead of going outside with their family they choose to stay at home and use facebook. Fb causes family members to become more and more distant from the rest of the family who should have enjoyed family outings to love each other more. In a nutshell, I do not recommend using fb too often because it will make daily conversations more difficult.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using FB which
also
means they are destroying communications
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
one of the most
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important
things in life.

First
, FB
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destroys
the communication environment between
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family
members. Beyond that,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
depend on it when communicating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
it harder and harder to speak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
talking on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fb
Messenger is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
the state and emotions, and when speaking in real life, it is challenging for you to communicate
comfortably
and
smoothly
.

Secondly
, conversations with each other are decreasing
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because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Possible spelling mistake found.
fb
too
instead
of talking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
.
Moreover
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fb
users want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
friends and talk to strangers on
Possible spelling mistake found.
fb
more than talk to their parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. That
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
feelings go down. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, close encounters, the fun becomes more difficult.
Instead
of going outside with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
they choose to stay at home and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fb
causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members to become more and more distant from the rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
who should have enjoyed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
outings to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
each other more.

In a nutshell, I do not recommend using
Possible spelling mistake found.
fb
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
daily conversations more difficult.
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IELTS essay Facebook destroys communication among family members. Do you agree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
200 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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