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Extreme sports should be banned

Extreme sports should be banned 7LojA
For example, today the most people interested in fearful physical activities like, scuba diving, but, some have dismay(about height or water). After the first attempt they get rid of their negative emotions and they can take recreation by it. Thus, we should try to believe in ourselves in any situation and mortify our funk Secondly, in human beings' life, for the aim of being famous it can be seen that most people select this type of sport even it would be costly, so some countries want to earn funds through extreme sports. In this way they develop the field of tourism. In fact, the country of Dubai has a lot of opportunities about extreme sports and through it, the majority of individuals visit in there. According to this reasons, we must approve this kind of sports as it would be beneficial for us In conclusion, it is true that adventure sport can be dangerous and unreliable. However it can be beneficial for our popularity and the budget of the nation
For example
,
today
the most
people
interested in fearful physical activities like, scuba diving,
but
,
some
have dismay(about height or water). After the
first
attempt they
get
rid of their
negative
emotions and
they can take recreation by it.
Thus
, we should try to believe in ourselves in any situation and mortify our funk

Secondly
, in human beings' life, for the aim of being
famous
it can be
seen
that most
people
select this type of
sport
even it would be costly,
so
some
countries want to earn funds through extreme
sports
. In this way they develop the field of tourism. In fact, the country of Dubai has
a lot of
opportunities about extreme
sports
and through it, the majority of individuals visit in there. According to
this
reasons, we
must
approve this kind of
sports
as it would be beneficial for
us


In conclusion
, it is true that adventure
sport
can be
dangerous
and unreliable.
However
it can be beneficial for our popularity and the budget of the
nation
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IELTS essay Extreme sports should be banned

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
169 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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