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expressing your opinion about money

expressing your opinion about money VroXO
I completely agree with the statement “You only stop worrying about money when you have a lot of it”. Firstly, we need to know clearly about the purpose we study and work for. All for the sake of making money. We make money to make ends meet, take care of our parents or have a status in society. Earn a lot of money to fulfill your childhood's dream, prove to everyone that we are not useless. Having money is having everything. Secondly, who says money can't buy health? Only people who have no money can't buy health, they lie in the hospital waiting to die with high hospital fees. Unlike them, the one who has lots of money will buy good things to nourish themselves, be treated with the most advanced methods without worrying about money. A full material life leads to a good spiritual life. In conclusion, people without money justify themselves that having a lot of money leads to many bad outcomes. It just proves that they are inferiors, useless people who couldn't earn a single coin. Try having lots of money once, you can do anything you want.
I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement “You
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
worrying about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
when you have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of it”.

Firstly
, we need to know
clearly
about the purpose we study and work for. All for the sake of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
, take care of our parents or have a status in society. Earn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to fulfill your childhood's dream, prove to everyone that we are not useless.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
everything.

Secondly
,
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who
says
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
health?
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
health, they lie in the hospital waiting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
with high hospital fees. Unlike them, the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things to nourish themselves,
be treated
with the most advanced methods without worrying about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. A full material life leads to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
spiritual life.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
justify themselves that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
outcomes. It
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
proves that they are inferiors, useless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
couldn't earn a single coin. Try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
once, you can do anything you want.
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IELTS essay expressing your opinion about money

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
191 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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