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exploitation of animals by mankind

exploitation of animals by mankind m8W5A
Unquestionably, animal rights have been a controversial issue over the last couple of decades. The substantial influences of exploitation of animals by mankind have sparked controversy over the potential impact of this trend on animal rights. In my opinion this perspective has both positive and negative sides, while others might disagree with this contention. This essay will elaborate on how animal rights is important in our lives as well as the related problems and thus will lead to a logical conclusion. At the outset, there are numerous reasons why mankind needs assistant of animals in day to day life, but the most conspicuous one lies in the fact that some animals are needed by humans to assist them in producing and providing foods. In many countries cows, buffalos or horses are used by farmers, some firm animals for example chicken, sheep used for their food. Without the existence of these animals there would be a humanity issue about the lack of food supplies and starvation for mankind. Some animals are used in certain scientific or medical experiments that have saved thousands of human lives. Nevertheless, there remain some drawbacks of exploitation of animals, which can certainly overwhelm the aforementioned effects, but the most alarming one stems from the fact that animals live by following their instinct, but they have the same feelings as human beings. For instance, it has been reported that some cows had cried before they were slaughtered in the slaughterhouse. In addition, many animal species have been extinct because of human exploitation. In the light of the foregoing discussions, it can be concluded that exploitation of animals is unstoppable, however human should control this utilization and regulate it firmly.
Unquestionably
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
rights have been a controversial issue over the last couple of decades. The substantial influences of exploitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
by mankind have sparked controversy over the potential impact of this trend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
rights. In my opinion this perspective has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides, while others might disagree with this contention. This essay will elaborate on how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
rights is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
as well
as the related problems and
thus
will lead to a logical conclusion.

At the outset, there are numerous reasons why mankind needs assistant of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in day to day life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the most conspicuous one lies in the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are needed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
to assist them in producing and providing foods. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries cows,
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "buffalo", the plural form of the noun 'buffalo'?
buffalos
or horses are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by farmers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
firm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for example
chicken, sheep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for their food. Without the existence of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
there would be a humanity issue about the lack of food supplies and starvation for mankind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in certain scientific or medical experiments that have saved thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Nevertheless
, there remain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of exploitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, which can
certainly
overwhelm the aforementioned effects,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the most alarming one stems from the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
by following their instinct,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have the same feelings as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.
For instance
, it has
been reported
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cows had cried
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
were slaughtered
in the slaughterhouse.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species have been extinct
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
exploitation.

In the light of the foregoing discussions, it can
be concluded
that exploitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is unstoppable,
however
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
should control this utilization and regulate it
firmly
.
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IELTS essay exploitation of animals by mankind

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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