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Explaining which university you hope to attend and why

Explaining which university you hope to attend and why 7LnW3
University that I hope to study at is in China. And I also looked the universities in Thailand. Due to Covid-19 situation, it will affect for who want to study abroad. It depending on Covid-19 situation in China and Thailand. China is a good choice to study abroad. Many people choose to study in China because of China rather strict and think education is important. This is reason why the majority of people want to study in China. I want to study at Shanghai University. I choose this university because this university is outstanding for the faculty of International Business that I look to study. And this university is located in Shanghai. Additionally, Shanghai has been developed and many foreigners study there. Moving on to the university in Thailand, I have looked many colleges. But I decided to enter Mahidol university. This university is top of the country and famous for english. And there are faculty that I interested in. I choose this university because approximately 3 years ago, I went to open house there. I really like buildings design and environment. It is surrounded by trees make it very shady. In general, most people, including me, want to study abroad because we want experiences and meet new communities. If China has not open the country, I will study in Thailand. Because Thailand also have many good universities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
that I hope to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at is in China. And I
also
looked the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
in Thailand. Due to Covid-19 situation, it will
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
for who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
abroad.
Did you mean "It's depending", "It is depending", or "It was depending"?
It depending
on Covid-19 situation in China and Thailand.

China is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
choice to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
abroad.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in China
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of China
rather
strict and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
education is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. This is reason why the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in China. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at Shanghai
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
. I choose this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is outstanding for the faculty of International Business that I look to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. And this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is located
in Shanghai.
Additionally
, Shanghai has
been developed
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
foreigners
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
there.

Moving on to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
in Thailand, I have looked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
colleges.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I decided to enter
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mahidol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is top of the country and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
english
. And there are faculty that I interested in. I choose this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
approximately 3 years ago, I went to open
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
there. I
really
like buildings design and environment. It
is surrounded
by trees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
shady.

In general
, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, including me,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
abroad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
experiences and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new communities. If China has not open the country, I will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in Thailand.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
Thailand
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
.
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IELTS essay Explaining which university you hope to attend and why

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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