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explain the uncertainties of life and the thought flow of a human brain which considered to be the reason for the ultimate happiness

explain the uncertainties of life and the thought flow of a human brain which considered to be the reason for the ultimate happiness aA0nd
I learned so many things these 3days that i need to concern it to put in my subconcious mind that life is never gonna be a linear line, It's gonna be in which, what u thought in the mind which could have happened, inorder for the moment to be a meaningful happy one- will not happen as some might happen with the least probability and the rest will be a nightmare which will be forgotten or somethings remain and somethings won't be valuable as much as it was when thinking about it ur conscious mind is a flow of energy which will show different kinds of feelings and emotions connected along with the scenes which might be useful but most of the time it would be a nothingness in a dark web interconnected to a strange romantic feeling which makes the times even harder to thinking that it might be not happening, which results a strange empathetic feeling towards the self love which cannot be judged or even taken into account as a real thing The irony all along this periods are the inclusion of fear in the future which mind is trying to find a way to happiness in some palace after sometime when coming to present conscious which exactly the successions of inner doubts popping up for a relief or a pathway and yet it doesn't want to do the work also which exactly requires to be overcomed in the way of resistance which makes another twist of uncertainity and moves along like this everyday like a war between two diamensions which one is created exactly from nothingness and the other the present which looks and compares those times with the ideas of the place where happiness lies hence created by the mind and everyday this goes on in the head with an intention to overcome the problems which might occur in the future and yet to bring unpeace moreover creating a strange unconfortable feeling to the moment of conscious and finds a way to time travel simultaneously to that point inorder to be rescued from the present unconfortness in improving and doing the right thing to be in a better position along with beliefly unsure with everything that goes on with the present acts which is happening and needed to be atleast secured from the uncertainity of careless flow of life which leads to the future
I learned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things these 3days that
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
need to concern it to put in my
Possible spelling mistake found.
subconcious
mind

that life is never
The word 'gonna' is informal. Consider an alternative.
gonna
be a linear line, It's
The word 'gonna' is informal. Consider an alternative.
gonna
be in which, what u
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
in the mind which could have

happened,
Possible spelling mistake found.
inorder
for the moment to be a meaningful happy one- will not happen as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
happen with the

A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
probability and the rest will be a nightmare which will
be forgotten
or somethings remain and somethings

won't be valuable as much as it was when thinking about it

Possible spelling mistake found.
ur
conscious mind is a flow of energy which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of feelings and emotions connected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
along
with the scenes which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be useful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
it would be a nothingness in a dark web interconnected to a strange romantic feeling which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
even harder to thinking that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be not happening, which results a strange empathetic feeling towards the self
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
which cannot
be judged
or

even taken into account as a real thing

The irony all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
along
Did you mean "these"?
this
periods are the inclusion of fear in the future which mind is trying to find a way to happiness in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
palace after sometime when coming to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
conscious which exactly the successions of

inner doubts popping up for a relief or a pathway and
yet
it doesn't want to do the work
also
which exactly requires to be
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "overcame", the past tense form of the verb 'overcome'?
overcomed
in the way of resistance which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
another twist of
Possible spelling mistake found.
uncertainity
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
along
like this everyday like a war between two
Possible spelling mistake found.
diamensions
which one
is created
exactly from nothingness and the

other the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
which looks and compares those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of the place where happiness lies
hence
created by the mind

and
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
this goes on in the head

with an intention to overcome the problems which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
occur in the future and
yet
to bring
Possible spelling mistake found.
unpeace
moreover
creating
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
a strange
Possible spelling mistake found.
unconfortable


feeling to the moment of conscious and finds a way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
travel
simultaneously
to that point
Possible spelling mistake found.
inorder
to
be rescued
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
Possible spelling mistake found.
unconfortness


in improving and doing the right thing to be in a better position
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
along
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
beliefly
unsure with everything that goes on with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
acts

which is happening and needed to be
Possible spelling mistake found.
atleast
secured from the
Possible spelling mistake found.
uncertainity
of careless flow of life which leads to the future
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IELTS essay explain the uncertainties of life and the thought flow of a human brain which considered to be the reason for the ultimate happiness

Essay
  American English
12 paragraphs
398 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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