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Example 4. According to many people, Social Networking sites have had a great negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Social media and networking sites have become an inseparable part of the lives of the present generation. However, many people strongly believe that such networking has a detrimental effect on the people’s lives. This essay will discuss that media and technology are mainly advantageous to the people but their damaging repercussions on the society can also not be overlooked, thus partially agreeing with the statement. To commence with the discussion, the impact of social media has some outstanding benefits. Firstly, the world has become a global village because of these sites. People from different corners have come closer through websites like Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and Instagram. Secondly, these sites offer individuals a chance to interact with people who share common interests. In this regard, social networking has indeed proved to be a boon. Thirdly, social net working has not only broadened the mental horizon of the users in terms of knowledge, but has also enhanced the scope of business opportunities. On the flip side, the social networking also has some adverse effects. Instead of taking interest in the community activities, people today prefer to create online contacts. Consequently, they fail to form close personal relationships. Face book marriages are also being fixed though they are not proving to be very successful. Apart from this, the society is becoming increasingly broken, fragmented and isolated. People tend to spend more time in fiddling with their gadgets rather than passing time with their families. To conclude, while individuals have greater opportunities of developing online friendships through social media, these relations lack the real bonding and encourage seclusion. The community life is being unfavorably impacted. People must participate in community activities to promote harmony among the individuals for a healthy society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and networking sites have become an inseparable part of

the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of the present generation.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
strongly
believe that

such networking has a detrimental effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This essay will

discuss that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and technology are
mainly
advantageous to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but


their damaging repercussions on the society can
also
not
be overlooked
,
thus


partially
agreeing with the statement.

To commence with the discussion, the impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
outstanding

benefits.
Firstly
, the world has become a global village
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these sites.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
corners have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
closer through websites like Facebook,

Twitter, LinkedIn and Instagram.
Secondly
, these sites offer individuals a chance

to interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who share common interests. In this regard, social

networking has
indeed
proved to be a boon.
Thirdly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
net working has not

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
broadened the mental horizon of the users in terms of knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
has

also
enhanced the scope of business opportunities.

On the flip side, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adverse effects.
Instead
of

taking interest in the community activities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
prefer to create online

contacts.
Consequently
, they fail to form close personal relationships. Face book

marriages are
also
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
though they are not proving to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
successful.

Apart from this, the society is becoming
increasingly
broken, fragmented and

isolated.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
tend to spend more time in fiddling with their gadgets
rather


than passing time with their families.

To conclude
, while individuals have greater opportunities of developing online

friendships through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, these relations lack the real bonding and

encourage seclusion. The community life is being
unfavorably
impacted.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
participate in community activities to promote harmony among the

individuals for a healthy society.
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IELTS essay Example 4. According to many people, Social Networking sites have had a great negative impact on both individuals and society.

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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