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everywhere,the number of elderly persons is on the increase.Who should take care of the elderly?

everywhere, the number of elderly persons is on the increase. Who should take care of the elderly? RWq2G
universely, life expectancy rate is increasing due to the advancement of health care with most modern applications and effective treatment as a result proportion of senior citizens are rising steadily. In this essay, it states that, it is family responsibilty in the first place to take care of their parents when they get older. After that government and society should make sure that elders are getting all the proper care to live healthy life. As far as I am concerned, taking care of older generation is moral duty rather than responsibilty because they spent most of their life looking after their younger ones without any hesitation. In addition, old age is the age which most people need support from family in every aspect like mental, health and finance. so it is the responsibilty of the family members to enhance helping hands to their parents in their needs. However, in some cases government should take the responsibilty to look after the old citizens. For instance, few individuals may be not be financially capable for supporting their parents or a number of older generation might not have any supporting hands during their late sixties. As a matter of fact state and community should protect them by providing financial assistance and health care along with a place to live. In short, it is every individuals duty to look after their parents and also governement should initiate laws to protect older community and also to provide finacial assistance for needy.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
universely
, life expectancy rate is increasing due to the advancement of health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
with most modern applications and effective treatment
as a result
proportion of senior citizens are rising
steadily
. In this essay, it states that, it is family
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsibilty
in the
first
place to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
. After that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and society should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that elders are getting all the proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
healthy life. As far as I
am concerned
, taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
generation is moral duty
rather
than
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsibilty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they spent most of their life looking after their younger ones without any hesitation.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age is the age which most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need support from family in every aspect like mental, health and finance.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
it is the
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsibilty
of the family members to enhance helping hands to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in their needs.

However
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "cases'" or "case's"?
cases
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take the
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsibilty
to look after the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
citizens.
For instance
, few individuals may be not
Consider using a past participle here: "been".
be
financially
capable for supporting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
generation might not have any supporting hands during their late sixties. As a matter of fact state and community should protect them by providing financial assistance and health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
along with a place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. In short, it is every
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "individuals'" or "individual's"?
individuals
duty to look after their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
governement
should initiate laws to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
community and
also
to provide
Possible spelling mistake found.
finacial
assistance for needy.
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IELTS essay everywhere, the number of elderly persons is on the increase. Who should take care of the elderly?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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