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everyone has rised above circumstances and achieve success if they are dedicated to and passionate about what they do

everyone has rised above circumstances and achieve success if they are dedicated to and passionate about what they do RwVx8
‘Do you need to be passionate about the job that you have decided to be your career in the future? ’ Asked me when I was in high school. And not like the other people, I have found my answer right after my graduate exam and now is my share foreveryone has risethis journey. Once Steve Jobs have said: ’The only way to do great work is to love what you do’ and that quotes fir perfectly for me. Formerly, right after my graduation exam only 6 days and my talent exam 2 days, unluckily for me that I have a motorbike accident. Because of that accident, my right hand was injured. At first I feel very depreesed and want to give up on everything included my architect dream. But that depressed was not take long and I made up my mind and started all over again just with simple thought: ’ Better late than never’. And it was a tough time for me to finish all the exam with a injured hand so not to let it affected on my path I was used a lot of pain-killer to ease my pain and not to let it trembled a lot during my test. Consequently, right now I am study architecture at Van Lang university. College is the way for your succesful, but we can see success is not final, failure is not fatal. There is no way that in path you chose that have successful wait for you in the first way. So the common challenge wait
‘Do you need to be passionate about the job that you have decided to be your career in the future? ’ Asked me when I was in high school. And not like the other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, I have found my answer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
after my graduate exam and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is my share
Possible spelling mistake found.
foreveryone
has
Possible spelling mistake found.
risethis
journey.

Once Steve Jobs have said: ’The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to do great work is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
what you do’ and that quotes fir
perfectly
for me.
Formerly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
after my graduation exam
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
6 days and my talent exam 2 days,
unluckily
for me that I have a motorbike accident.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that accident, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
hand
was injured
. At
The comma is probably missing here: "first, I".
first I
feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
depreesed
and want to give up on everything included my architect dream.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
that depressed was not take long and I made up my mind and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
all over again
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
with simple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
:
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
’
Better late than never’. And it was a tough time for me to finish all the exam with
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
injured hand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
on my path I was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pain-killer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
my pain and not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
it trembled a lot during my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I am study architecture at Van Lang university.

College is the way for your
Possible spelling mistake found.
succesful
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
success is not final, failure is not fatal. There is no way that in path you chose that have successful wait for you in the
first
way.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the common challenge
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
wait
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IELTS essay everyone has rised above circumstances and achieve success if they are dedicated to and passionate about what they do

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
257 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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