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Every girl should be educated in each family,Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Every girl should be educated in each family, Edo9B
Some people say girl education is worthless but i agree with the Statement. Girl education is the key factor for the development of the country. Gender equality should follow in every sphere of opportunities. Moreover, people living in rustic area have believe that educating girl is meaningless. In other word, they see girl as labour who do every household works and look after the animals. For instance, people of farwestern their is still prevalent of Early child marriage that's the reason they don't pay any effort to literate their daughter. It is such a shameful to hear that some women of nepal are deprive of education. Some girls don't go school and some are not sent. It is a major social problem that need to abolish in time. Consequently, according to the population survey of nepal it has shown that women population is more than men if government didn't take step in time then it's impossible to imagine the prosperity of nepal. Government should launch free educational campaign focusing the important of girl education. likewise, encouraging girl by providing them sanitary pad, monthly allowance for their snacks expenses and so on. In conclusion, Education is the power to enlighten people's life, thought and lifestyle. It is the source of positivity. So, there should be equality between male and female regarding education.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is worthless
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the Statement.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Girl
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the key factor for the development of the country. Gender equality should follow in every sphere of opportunities.

Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in rustic area have
Use past participle here: "believed".
believe
that educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
is meaningless. In other word, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
as
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
who do every household works and look after the animals.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
farwestern
Did you mean "there"?
their
is
still
prevalent of Early child marriage that's the reason they don't pay any effort to literate their daughter. It is such a shameful to hear that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
women of
Possible spelling mistake found.
nepal
are
Consider using a past participle here: "deprived".
deprive
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
don't go school and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
. It is a major social problem that need to abolish in time.

Consequently
, according to the population survey of
Possible spelling mistake found.
nepal
it has shown that women population is more than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
didn't take step in time then it's impossible to imagine the prosperity of
Possible spelling mistake found.
nepal
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should launch free educational campaign focusing the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
likewise
, encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
by providing them sanitary pad, monthly allowance for their snacks expenses and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is the power to enlighten
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
and lifestyle. It is the source of positivity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there should be equality between male and female regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
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IELTS essay Every girl should be educated in each family,

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
221 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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