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Every country should produce enough of everything that the country needs so it does not have to rely on imports. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position. v.2

Every country should produce enough of everything that the country needs so it does not have to rely on imports. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position. v. 2
Indeed, any country can never improve their development without increasing its material production to fulfil the needs and demands of its grooving population especially the basic need as foods, clothing etc. As a result of that, the country does not have to depend on imports from others. This essay will explain some specific reasons and arguments on controversial issues of the country’s production and imports. To begin with, most of the developed countries produce their own need by themself and able to face any crises which would happen in the future. For example, Australia has a large amount of food production on behalf of their nation because the country has good source geography and better resources along with sound weather. Besides, many developed countries have quality production and manufacturing due to development of technology and machine power to create more and more needs and services to the citizens of the country. Same way of improving more job opportunities in production and manufacturing to the people can be beneficial for unemployment in the country. Moreover, together with globalization, the excess local product can export to other countries to help to obtain foreign currency and keep a famous name in the global market. However, most developing countries do not have enough facilities and resources to produce their needs. That is the reason why they tend to import their basic need from other countries. For example, poor countries like Ethiopia and Nigeria are suffering from food shortage due to ethnic war and lack of resources that really effect on their nation lead to imports the main needs from developed countries like US and UK. Furthermore many countries do not have sufficient energy power and geographically poor can another reason to depend on imports. To conclude, I agree that, every country should aware of increasing its production level on behalf of their nation while supporting other countries by exporting their excess production.
Indeed
, any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their development without increasing its material
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
to fulfil the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
and demands of its grooving population
especially
the basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
as foods, clothing etc.
As a result
of that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
depend on imports from others. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific reasons and arguments on controversial issues of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
and imports.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, most of the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
produce their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
by
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
and able to face any crises which would happen in the future.
For example
, Australia has a large amount of food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
on behalf of their nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source geography and better resources along with sound weather.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
and manufacturing due to development of technology and machine power to create more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
and services to the citizens of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Same way of improving more job opportunities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
and manufacturing to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can be beneficial for unemployment in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Moreover
, together with globalization, the excess local product can export to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to obtain foreign currency and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
name in the global market.

However
, most developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
facilities and resources to produce their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
.
That is
the reason why they tend to import their basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For example
, poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Ethiopia and Nigeria are suffering from food shortage due to ethnic war and lack of resources that
really
effect on their nation lead to imports the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
from developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like US and UK.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do not have sufficient energy power and
geographically
poor can another reason to depend on imports.

To conclude
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should aware of increasing its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
level on behalf of their nation while supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
by exporting their excess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Every country should produce enough of everything that the country needs so it does not have to rely on imports. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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