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Even though technology is developing at a fast pace and the standard of living of most individuals has gone up, billions of people still live in poverty, and in many places, the rich countries give financial aid to developing and under-developed countries.

Even though technology is developing at a fast pace and the standard of living of most individuals has gone up, billions of people still live in poverty, and in many places, the rich countries give financial aid to developing and under-developed countries. kQKO
Even though technology is developing at a fast pace and the standard of living of most individuals has gone up, billions of people still live in poverty, and in many places, the rich countries give financial aid to developing and under-developed countries. Some people consider it improper to give direct monetary help. I agree with them. I believe that the developed countries should give some other types of help to the poor countries and not direct financial aid. My first argument against financial aid is that this aid may not actually reach those for whom it is meant. lt may go into corrupt pockets. Secondly, it would make those people lazy, as they would be getting aid without doing any work. Thirdly, the aid may be used for the wrong purposes. For example, the aid may be given for development projects but it may be used to promote terrorism. Finally, if aid is given without proper research, then it may be used for projects, which are not the priority of the people. For instance, the people may need health and educational institutes, whereas the aid may be used for making dams or expanding roadways. The best way to help poor countries would be to open good educational institutes, good health centers and create job opportunities for people of the poor countries. People of the poor countries start earning well their standard would definitely become better and the whole country would become richer. LF rich countries open factories and multinational companies in poor countries it would be a win-win the situation for both, as the poor would get employment and the rich would have to pay much lesser to these workers than they would have to pay their counterparts in their own country. So, more and more rich countries would step forward to help the poor. Direct financial aid would not bring such a situation. To conclude, financial aid is not the best way to help poor countries. From my own perspective, the developed countries ought to assist the impoverished countries through other approaches'
Even though
technology is developing at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace and the standard of living of most individuals has gone up, billions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in poverty, and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
to

developing and under-developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider it improper to give direct monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them. I believe that the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to the

poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and not direct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
aid.

My
first
argument against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
is that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
may not actually reach those for whom it
is meant
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lt
may go into corrupt pockets.
Secondly
, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lazy, as they would be getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
without doing any work.
Thirdly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
purposes.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
for development projects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to promote terrorism.
Finally
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
without proper research, then it may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for projects, which are not the priority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may need health and educational institutes, whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for making dams or expanding roadways.

The best way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
would be to open
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
educational institutes,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health centers and create job opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
earning well their standard would definitely become better and the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
would become richer.
Possible spelling mistake found.
LF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
open factories and multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
it would be a win-win the situation for both, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employment and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay much lesser to these workers than they would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay their counterparts in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
would step forward to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
. Direct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
would not bring such a situation.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
is not the best way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. From my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective, the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
ought to assist the impoverished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
through other approaches
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
'
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IELTS essay Even though technology is developing at a fast pace and the standard of living of most individuals has gone up, billions of people still live in poverty, and in many places, the rich countries give financial aid to developing and under-developed countries.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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