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advantage and disadvantage of growth amount of young adults in society

advantage and disadvantage of growth amount of young adults in society n3Bo
Nowadays. In some nations, the population of older people is decreasing meanwhile increasing in adults population. This essay will describe both the positive and negative aspects of this situation. The advantage of increasing adult population are numerous because new generation bring new technology, thinking, new aspect to society. at the present time while people around the world can connect and access to new knowledge. These new adults can use their power to achieve more. for example. In contrast, older generation also full of knowledge and experiences. They know a lot about the past. The most significant knowledge is history and also culture as well. If these generation are decreasing that mean we loss our history. In conclusion, there are both pro and con of these population situation. The best way is to learn as much as we can from the older one.
Nowadays. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
is decreasing meanwhile increasing in adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
both the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of this situation. The advantage of increasing adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
are numerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technology, thinking,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
aspect to society.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
at
the present time while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world can connect and access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
knowledge. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
adults can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their power to achieve more.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example.
In contrast
, older generation
also
full of knowledge and experiences. They know a lot about the past. The most significant knowledge is history and
also
culture
as well
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
Did you mean "this generation" or "these generations"?
these generation
are decreasing that mean we
Did you mean "lost" (past tense of the verb 'lose')?
loss
our history.

In conclusion
, there are both pro and
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "cons"?
con
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
situation. The best way is to learn as much as we can from the older one.

IELTS essay advantage and disadvantage of growth amount of young adults in society

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
142 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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