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Even though globalization affects the world's economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. v.8

Even though globalization affects the world's economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. v. 8
Globalization is a comparatively newer trend and it has brought countless benefits to our modern life. The brighter side of globalization reduces the disparity and distance between countries around the world whereas the darker side also needs assessment carefully. Obviously, with the impact of globalization trade and travel around the world have become easier, comfortable and easily accessible. Air route travel is now affordable to common people within a fraction of hours people can reach their destiny. Branded International products are available to all countries, for instance, people can buy Mac Donald's products from their own local market. Trade and industry have dramatically developed and created gigantic job vacancies. The relationship between the nations has improved and nations can now easily maintain a friendly relationship with other. Thus the economic disparity between the nations has been narrowed with the advantages of globalization. On the other hand, it is argued that the wealthier countries are becoming wealthier due to the advantages they are getting from globalization. They can begin their roots in developing or underdeveloped countries and utilise the natural raw materials from there and become more and more affluent. Coca-Cola Company in India is the greatest illustration to this. With the impact of globalization more and more new products are being available in market and people have choices. As a result, there is a greater competition in the market. Consequently, local trades might not survive in long run and this has negative consequences on many local businesses. Brain drain seems to have become a common policy and phenomenon observed throughout the all developing countries. The local traditions and cultures are in jeopardy due to the enormous influence of world media and TV channels. Putting everything into consideration, although there are many cones of globalization, I believe that the pros are more prominent and obvious. It is a welcoming trend due to the advantages it offers. As long the international bonding is strong, it is a positive trend and the chances of conflict between the nations have declined which would present a better world to the upcoming generations.
Globalization is a
comparatively
newer trend and it has brought countless benefits to our modern life. The brighter side of globalization
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the disparity and distance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
whereas the darker side
also
needs assessment
carefully
.

Obviously
, with the impact of globalization trade and travel around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
have become easier, comfortable and
easily
accessible. Air route travel is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
affordable to common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
within a fraction of hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can reach their destiny. Branded International products are available to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
for instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
Mac Donald's products from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
market. Trade and industry have
dramatically
developed and created gigantic job vacancies. The relationship between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
easily
maintain a friendly relationship with other.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
the economic disparity between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
has
been narrowed
with the advantages of globalization.

On the other hand
, it
is argued
that the wealthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are becoming wealthier due to the advantages they are getting from globalization. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
their roots in developing or underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
the natural raw materials from there and become more and more affluent. Coca-Cola
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Company
in India is the greatest illustration to this. With the impact of globalization more and more new products are being available in market and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have choices.
As a result
, there is a greater competition in the market.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
trades might not survive in long run and this has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
businesses. Brain drain seems to have become a common policy and phenomenon observed throughout the all developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
traditions and cultures are in jeopardy due to the enormous influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
media and TV channels.

Putting everything into consideration, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cones of globalization, I believe that the pros are more prominent and obvious. It is a welcoming trend due to the advantages it offers. As long the international bonding is strong, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend and the chances of conflict between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
have declined which would present a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
to the upcoming generations.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Even though globalization affects the world's economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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