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Even though doctor advice more people to get more exercise, many old people do not get enough exercise. What are the reasons for it and what are the solutions?

Even though doctor advice more people to get more exercise, many old people do not get enough exercise. What are the reasons for it and what are the solutions? N9py
Some older people avoid doing exercise, knowing that doing physical workout is good for both body and mind. Also, many doctors advise people to exercise as much as possible however, people do not follow the instructions of medical examiners. There are several reasons associated with this trend, that will be discussed in the upcoming essay with some relevant solutions. Initially, despite some doctors advising a sum of people to exercise, they do not exercise at all, appears as a possible cause. After all, there is another reason that a number of people adopt a poor lifestyle into their lives, even though it is not at all beneficial to their health, elders show disinclinations for their exercises. Moreover, in overcrowded cities, the elderly rarely have the opportunity to exercise. For example, due to the growing population of big cities like Mumbai and Delhi, safe roads have become very scarce and, as well as weak eyesight and bones are the reasons of inactive lifestyle that cannot be overlooked. Be that as it may, appropriate steps need to be taken to get rid of this problem. For example, young children and students should be taught the importance of exercising and playing sports from school time itself, so that they can make themselves physically fit from an early age. In addition, the government should take some steps to curb the growing traffic and competition in the densely populated city. For example, Delhi government brought odd-even scheme, is a traffic rationing measure to reduce road congestion and pollution levels in 2015. In conclusion, in my opinion, every human being should make a little change in their lifestyle and exercise, which will keep their body healthy, and also make young children aware of the benefits of physical activities from their parents and teachers. In addition, the government should take new measures to control the increasing traffic gridlock.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
avoid doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
, knowing that doing physical workout is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for both body and mind.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
doctors advise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
as much as possible
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not follow the instructions of medical examiners. There are several reasons associated with this trend, that will
be discussed
in the upcoming essay with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relevant solutions.

Initially
, despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
doctors advising a sum of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
, they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
at all, appears as a possible cause.
After all
, there is another reason that a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
adopt a poor lifestyle into their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
even though
it is not at all beneficial to their health, elders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
Possible spelling mistake found.
disinclinations
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
.
Moreover
, in overcrowded cities, the elderly rarely have the opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
For example
, due to the growing population of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities like Mumbai and Delhi, safe roads have become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
scarce and,
as well
as weak eyesight and bones are the reasons of inactive lifestyle that cannot
be overlooked
.

Be that as it may, appropriate steps need to
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of this problem.
For example
, young children and students should
be taught
the importance of exercising and playing sports from school time itself,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
themselves
physically
fit from an early age.

In addition
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps to curb the growing traffic and competition in the
densely
populated city.
For example
, Delhi
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
brought odd-even scheme, is a traffic rationing measure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
road congestion and pollution levels in 2015.

In conclusion
, in my opinion, every human being should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in their lifestyle and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their body healthy, and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
young children aware of the benefits of physical activities from their parents and teachers.
In addition
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take new measures to control the increasing traffic gridlock.
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IELTS essay Even though doctor advice more people to get more exercise, many old people do not get enough exercise. What are the reasons for it and what are the solutions?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
311 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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