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EU trading to India and China

EU trading to India and China D2kna
The piechart shows the contribution of each country's exports from Europe to India and China. As expected most of the countries contribution stayed at same pace in case of China as well as India. United Kingdom and Belgium together contributes close to 50 percent of the net exports from Europe whereas the rest of countries like Spain, Sweden, Netherlands, Finland, France, Austria shares with single digit percentages. In China, the maximum of europian exports is by Germany with 38% in 2000 and close to 50% in 2011, which shows that Germany is a big player in export trading with China. Though Germany is third highest export percentage holder to India with 15% it improved by a fair amount of around 10% and became the highest contributing country in 2011. When compared to China, India is not sole dependent on Germany, but the contribution is widespread all over the countries with small fractions. Surprisingly, Belgium which holds second highest share in exports to India, holds only 5% in exports to China. On overall, in my opinion both China and India maintained their contributions at a constant level which is evident from the difference in percent values of respective country from 2000 to 2011.
The
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piechart
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shows
the
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contribution
of each country's
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exports
from Europe to India and China. As
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expected
most of the
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countries
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contribution
stayed at same pace in case of China
as well
as India.

United Kingdom and Belgium together contributes close to 50 percent of the net
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exports
from Europe whereas the rest of
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countries
like Spain, Sweden, Netherlands, Finland, France, Austria shares with single digit percentages. In China, the maximum of
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europian
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exports
is by Germany with 38% in 2000 and close to 50% in 2011, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that Germany is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
player in
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export
trading with China.

Though Germany is third highest
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export
percentage holder to India with 15% it
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improved
by a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
amount of around 10% and became the highest contributing
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country
in 2011. When compared to China, India is not sole dependent on Germany,
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but
the
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contribution
is widespread all over the
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countries
with
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small
fractions.
Surprisingly
, Belgium which holds second highest share in
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exports
to India, holds
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only
5% in
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exports
to China.

On
overall
, in my opinion both China and India maintained their
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contributions
at a constant level which is evident from the difference in percent values of respective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
from 2000 to 2011.
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IELTS essay EU trading to India and China

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
202 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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