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Establishing good relationships in the workplace is not important as the primary goal of every person is to focus on work To what extent do you agree with this statement

Establishing good relationships in the workplace is not important as the primary goal of every person is to focus on work To what extent 6D53
In the modern time, work life is considered to be a driving factor to good mental health. Some argue that, building good relationships in work place is irrelevant, given you complete your individual task on hand. I however, disagree with this notion, the below essay will agree upon my opinion and provide relevant examples. To begin with, work takes away more than half of a mans life time, thereby, being unsatisfied by your work could potentially lead to mental problems. For instance, studies done on work life balance by Harverd University in the 90's show that, individual who is unsatisfied with their work, are 78% more likely to go through depression. They also found out, folks with good relationships at their work have the characteristics of success. Furthermore, they are more likely to have important corporate skills like, loyalty, team spirit, which are the foundations bounding the corporate life. On the other hand, people who prefer working alone so not give into meaning less conversations to build relationships, instead would channel this time towards productivity. However, not every task could be done without assistance. Many of the ground breaking projects and ideas, where the results of good team spirit and coordinated efforts by many. thereby, the foundation of corporate life is coordinated efforts. For instance, Facebook a break through innovation in social media platform, was a combined effort by more than 10 people, who had to work day in and out to produce results. Facebook would not have seen the light of the day, if Mark Zakarburg though he could work alone. To conclude, although, focusing on work yields good results, however, building good relationships at work could be advantageous for the long run.
In the modern time,
work
life
is considered
to be a driving factor to
good
mental health.
Some
argue that, building
good
relationships
in
work
place is irrelevant,
given
you complete your individual task on hand. I
however
, disagree with this notion, the below essay will
agree
upon my opinion and provide relevant examples.

To
begin
with,
work
takes away more than half of a
mans
life time
, thereby,
being unsatisfied
by your
work
could
potentially
lead to mental problems.
For instance
, studies done on
work
life
balance by
Harverd
University in the
90's
show
that, individual who
is unsatisfied
with their
work
, are 78% more likely to go through depression. They
also
found out, folks with
good
relationships
at their
work
have the characteristics of success.
Furthermore
, they are more likely to have
important
corporate
skills
like, loyalty, team spirit, which are the foundations bounding the corporate life.

On the other hand
,
people
who prefer working alone
so
not give into meaning
less
conversations to build
relationships
,
instead
would channel this time towards productivity.
However
, not every task could
be done
without assistance.
Many
of the ground breaking projects and
ideas
, where the results of
good
team spirit and coordinated efforts by
many
.
thereby
, the foundation of corporate
life
is coordinated
efforts.
For instance
, Facebook a break through innovation in social media platform, was a combined effort by more than 10
people
, who had to
work
day in and out to produce results. Facebook would not have
seen
the light of the day, if Mark
Zakarburg
though he could
work
alone.

To conclude
, although, focusing on
work
yields
good
results,
however
, building
good
relationships
at
work
could be advantageous for the long run.
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IELTS essay Establishing good relationships in the workplace is not important as the primary goal of every person is to focus on work To what extent

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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