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Despite improvements in vehicle technology, there are still large numbers of road accidents. Explain some of the causes of these accidents and suggest some measures that could be taken to address the problem.

Despite improvements in vehicle technology, there are still large numbers of road accidents. Explain some of the causes of these accidents and suggest some measures that could be taken to address the problem. 9D37
Nowadays, many people is using public transportation in order to mitigate dilemma of environment. Although, there have been tremendous technological advancement in transportation, causes of road accident are still on the rise. Hence, I will not only elaborate the cause, but also address solution that could be taken. To commence with, an proliferating number of accidents occur, due to two main reasons. First and formost indispensable reason in reckless drivers who are either drunk or not following regime rules and consequently, their high speed and nor paying attention to the signs will lead to accidents. Moreover, another predominant reason is cellphones. Owing to the mobile phones, drew the attention of drivers from the road to either messaging or talking, in which the collision will happen. For instance, an article have been published in TOI-Times Of India, depicts that almost 40 percent of roar accidents are caused by drunk drivers. Besides that, the growing number of cars on the road is an another cause of frequent road accident in the developing countries. It is happening because of people tend to drive their own car rather than using public transportation. On the contrary, there are myriad solution to deplete road accidents. Firstly, the stricter laws ought to be introduced by authorities in order to diminish road collision. Furthermore, they should make improvements in road conditions: enhancing the bumpy roads and utilizing more signes. Secondly, by educating young children and making awareness among people, so, they can decline in numer of accidents in the future. For exemplify, in India, the prime minister Narendra Modi mad a rules against road accidents. In that rules they are investing more mazuma upon better infrastructure and making road signs in order to curb the road collision. To recapitulate, not only improvements in the quality of cars, but also the individuals' awareness will help the government to tackle this hurdle. Aside from this, Some strict rules should be taken by means of administrative in order to curb road accidents.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
using public transportation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to mitigate dilemma of environment. Although, there have been tremendous technological advancement in transportation, causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
are
still
on the rise.
Hence
, I will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
elaborate the cause,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
address solution that could
be taken
.

To commence with,
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
proliferating number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
occur, due to two main reasons.
First
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
formost
indispensable reason in reckless drivers who are either drunk or not following regime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and
consequently
, their high speed and nor paying attention to the signs will lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
.
Moreover
, another predominant reason is cellphones. Owing to the mobile phones, drew the attention of drivers from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
to either messaging or talking, in which the collision will happen.
For instance
, an article have
been published
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
TOI-Times
Of India, depicts that almost 40 percent of roar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
are caused
by drunk drivers.
Besides
that, the growing number of cars on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
is
One of these determiners is redundant in this context. Choose only one: "a cause" or "another cause".
an another cause
of frequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
. It is happening
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to drive their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
car
rather
than using public transportation.

On the contrary
, there are myriad solution to deplete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
.
Firstly
, the stricter laws ought to
be introduced
by authorities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to diminish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
collision.
Furthermore
, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
improvements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
conditions: enhancing the bumpy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and utilizing more
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "signs", the plural form of the noun 'sign'?
signes
.
Secondly
, by educating young children and making awareness among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they can decline in
Possible spelling mistake found.
numer
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
in the future. For exemplify, in India, the prime minister Narendra
Possible spelling mistake found.
Modi
mad a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. In that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
they are investing more
Possible spelling mistake found.
mazuma
upon better infrastructure and making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
signs in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to curb the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
collision.

To recapitulate, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
improvements in the quality of cars,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the individuals' awareness will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to tackle this hurdle. Aside from this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
should
be taken
by means of administrative in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to curb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
.
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IELTS essay Despite improvements in vehicle technology, there are still large numbers of road accidents. Explain some of the causes of these accidents and suggest some measures that could be taken to address the problem.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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