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Essay topics: TPO-03 - Independent Writing TaskDo you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

Essay topics: TPO-03 - Independent Writing Task It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
The argument over the use animal to provide food, medicine and clothing have been ongoing for years. Some people considering that killing of animal produce food and other products to be unnecessary. In my view, I agree with this notion and will discuss several compelling reasons in this essay. These days we are facing many public health challenges regarding poor health conditions including cancer and heart disease caused by excessive consumption of meat. Some experts are calling for change in human diet so that people achieve health benefits. Fortunately, many alternative sources of meat product available on the market. In fact, vegetarian diets are being favoured by ever increasing number of people and can provide the same amount of nutrient for consumers. In particular, mushroom and tofu contain high level of protein, a kind of nutrient presumably only found in a meat, and can therefore be used as a substitute. Furthermore, Medical experiment on animals and medicine manufactured from animal’ body parts received little endorsement in the past. Nowadays herbs and other kind of plants are widely used in the medical field, such as sinseng, can cure various diseases, prolong human life expectancy. More seriously, thousands of wild animals, such as tigers and minks, are killed each year, with their fur taken to produce coats and accessories for the industry. There are now similar products made from plants and artificial materials that can fulfil our needs. Animals do not have to suffer for our demands anymore. In conclusion, I think that our needs and desires do not justify the suffering of animals and animal products are no longer necessary. We can choose a different source of nourishment, medicine and clothing without any toll on wild animals.
The argument over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
to provide food, medicine and clothing have been ongoing for years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
considering that killing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
produce food and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to be unnecessary. In my view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion and will discuss several compelling reasons in this essay.

These days we are facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
public health challenges regarding poor health conditions including cancer and heart disease caused by excessive consumption of meat.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
experts are calling for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in human diet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
achieve health benefits.
Fortunately
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
alternative sources of meat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
available on the market. In fact, vegetarian diets are being
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
by
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever increasing
number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and can provide the same amount of nutrient for consumers.
In particular
, mushroom and tofu contain high level of protein, a kind of nutrient presumably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
found in a meat, and can
therefore
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a substitute.

Furthermore
, Medical experiment on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and medicine manufactured from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal’
body parts received
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
endorsement in the past. Nowadays herbs and other kind of plants are
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the medical field, such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
sinseng
, can cure various diseases, prolong human life expectancy. More
seriously
, thousands of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, such as tigers and minks,
are killed
each year, with their fur taken to produce coats and accessories for the industry. There are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
made from plants and artificial materials that can fulfil our needs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer for our demands anymore.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that our needs and desires do not justify the suffering of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are no longer necessary. We can choose a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
source of nourishment, medicine and clothing without any toll on wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Essay topics: TPO-03 - Independent Writing Task It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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