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Essay: “Success comes from taking risks.” To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Essay: “Success comes from taking risks. ” Arl5e
Success is what everybody wishes. Basically, it is made from very complicated things that are knowledges, efforts and braves so it is very challenging for people. Some people believe that taking risks is the origins of getting success because they can grab the valuable chances earlier, but some people do not think so. In my opinions, even though risks might give either negative or positive side for us, we need to take it because it is the very crucial steps that drive us to get success. Since our society is significantly developing, people are also improving their ability every single day to reach the higher level so that there are many and many knowledgeable people that we have to conquer in catching the opportunities for our careers. Taking risks is the main key points to start the new things that we have not expected to do before. Moreover, it helps us to develop and gain new skills simultaneously. Importantly, we have to make ourselves educated also beside only taking risks. As we all know, a lot of famous people get succeeded by taking risks such as Steve jobs, Elon Masks, Mark Zuckerberg, etc. Steve jobs is the very former person that took all his money to start his own company that produces the tablets and the cell phones in 2005. As the results, his company has now become the enormous one and serves billions of users around the world. Similarly, Mark Zuckerberg quitted from school and spent all his budgets to start his own business by developing the new platforms of social media. In summary, I am strongly convinced that every success is come from our educations, efforts especially braves that refer to risks that we need to take and overcome. As I have mentioned above, we should wake our braves up and take the risks to accomplish our goals.
Success is what everybody wishes.
Basically
, it
is made
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
complicated things that are
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledges
, efforts and braves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
challenging for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
is the origins of getting success
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can grab the valuable chances earlier,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. In my opinions,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
might give either
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side for us, we need to take it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial steps that drive us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
success.

Since our society is
significantly
developing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
also
improving their ability every single day to reach the higher level
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
knowledgeable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
conquer in catching the opportunities for our careers. Taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
is the main key points to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the new things that we have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Moreover
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to develop and gain new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
simultaneously
.
Importantly
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ourselves educated
also
beside
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.

As we all know,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
succeeded by taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
such as
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Steve jobs
, Elon Masks, Mark Zuckerberg, etc.
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Steve jobs
is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
former person that took all his money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
that produces the tablets and the cell phones in 2005. As the results, his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become the enormous one and serves billions of users around the world.
Similarly
, Mark Zuckerberg
Possible spelling mistake found.
quitted
from school and spent all his budgets to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business by developing the new platforms of social media.

In summary, I am
strongly
convinced that every success is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from our educations, efforts
especially
braves that refer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
that we need to take and overcome. As I have mentioned above, we should wake our braves up and take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
to accomplish our goals.
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IELTS essay Essay: “Success comes from taking risks. ”

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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