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Children behave better when they are physically punished or awarded explain

Children behave better when they are physically punished or awarded explain 9LLm3
Children are pillar of nation how they should be raised is a matter of controversy. Students should be rewarded or punished in order to improve the behaviour, suggested by the some people. Both the view will be demonstrated in a further content of the essay. First and foremost, to commence with, advantage to improve the behaviour of the children towards the elder as well as with regards to any particular things by giving the price is motivating the children. To explicate it, no sooner do student achieve appreciation from other than another students got inspired from them to attaining the price. A survey, for instance, in 2017, conducted by Sydney University of Australia that almost 76% children perform the palatable behaviour in order to achieve awards. On the contrary, there is no denying the fact that training the notorious and furious mind is a hard nut to crack because it is true that rod is the only tool for fools. Firstly, over pampering may distracts the children from their path. To elaborate it, children repeat the mistake often then corporal punishment is better than the reward. For example a study, in 2017, recruited by the Hindustan newspaper that almost 70% children after the punishment behave well. Secondly, punishment help to enhance the behaviour of stubborn children. In conclusion, not only should children be rewarded but also punished. On the one hand award motives the people, whereas; punishment is suitable for stubborn kids. To some extend conferring the children is much better than beating.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are pillar of nation how they should
be raised
is a matter of controversy. Students should
be rewarded
or punished in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, suggested by the
Did you mean "same"?
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Both the view will
be demonstrated
in a
further
content of the essay.
First
and foremost, to commence with, advantage to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
towards the elder
as well
as
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
any particular things by giving the price is motivating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. To explicate it, no sooner do student achieve appreciation from other than another students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
inspired from them to attaining the price. A survey,
for instance
, in 2017, conducted by Sydney University of Australia that almost 76%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
perform the palatable
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in order to achieve awards.
On the contrary
, there is no denying the fact that training the notorious and furious mind is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
nut to crack
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is true that rod is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
tool for fools.
Firstly
, over pampering may distracts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from their path. To elaborate it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
repeat the mistake
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
then corporal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is better than the reward.
For example
a study, in 2017, recruited by the Hindustan newspaper that almost 70%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
behave well.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to enhance the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of stubborn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
In conclusion
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
be rewarded
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
punished. On the one hand award motives the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, whereas;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is suitable for stubborn kids. To
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean the noun "extent"?
extend
conferring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is much better than beating.
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IELTS essay Children behave better when they are physically punished or awarded explain

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
253 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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