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The disadvantages of turism

The disadvantages of turism Ryw2M
Tourism is a critical source of income for many countries. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems, especially if it is not managed well. The most important reason is that tourism can often cause environmental damages with risk like erosion and pollution. Therefore, it can increase the rate of crime in touristic Cities like rubbery and pick pocketing. The other thing that I can mention is historical damages, because if governments do not control the number of tourists who visit their countries each year, their historical sites may be damaged. Although tourism has many benefits for governments in addition to the disadvantages, we must try to minimize the disadvantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourism
is a critical source of income for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. Unfortunately,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can
also
be a source of problems,
especially
if it is not managed well.

The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
cause environmental damages with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
like erosion and pollution.

Therefore
, it can increase the rate of crime in touristic Cities like rubbery and pick pocketing. The other thing that I can mention is historical damages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
do not control the number of tourists who visit their countries each year, their historical sites may
be damaged
.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
in addition
to the disadvantages, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
try to minimize the disadvantages.

IELTS essay The disadvantages of turism

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
111 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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