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essay discussion about work opportunities

essay discussion about work opportunities AwxBn
People have different views on the best way to secure a good a job; while some people believe that having a university degree is the most essential qualification to have, others think that experience and soft skills are more important. In my opinion, both are important but experience and skills are superior to education. It is undeniable that graduating from a university can, in terms of job opportinities, open doors for people. There are a number of fields that require a high level of education. For instance, it is crucial for people who are looking for a job in the healthcare system to be university graduates. Otherwise, it is almost impossible to get a job in this field. In addition to that, even if education is not a requirement for a certain job vacancy, some employers still prefer to employ candidates who attended a university. However, I believe that having the right skills and having relevent experience is far more important. Nowadays, the vast majority of people hold a bachelor or a masters degree and most employers require experience in addition to education. Furthermore, there are numerous jobs in which education plays no role. Take the job of a smith for example, smiths only need to be skillful and experienced in their field. Another good example is businessmen and businesswomen; those are also only required to have skills and experience. In conclusion, while graduating from a university is an excellent qualification to get a good job, it is my belief that experience and skills are more important.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views on the best way to secure a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
; while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree is the most essential qualification to have, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
. In my opinion, both are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are superior to education.

It is undeniable that graduating from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
can, in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
Possible spelling mistake found.
opportinities
, open doors for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There are a number of fields that require a high level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
For instance
, it is crucial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are looking for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in the healthcare system to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
graduates.
Otherwise
, it is almost impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in this field.
In addition
to that, even if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is not a requirement for a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
vacancy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
employers
still
prefer to employ candidates who attended a university.

However
, I believe that having the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and having
Possible spelling mistake found.
relevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is far more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
. Nowadays, the vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold a bachelor or a
For an academic degree, use "master’s".
masters
degree and most employers require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in addition
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Furthermore
, there are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
plays no role. Take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
of a smith
for example
, smiths
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
need to be skillful and experienced in their field. Another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example is businessmen and businesswomen; those are
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
required to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and experience.

In conclusion
, while graduating from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is an excellent qualification to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, it is my belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
.
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IELTS essay essay discussion about work opportunities

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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