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Entrepreneurship is gaining popularity in the world.

Entrepreneurship is gaining popularity in the world. In recent times, many individuals prefer to be entrepreneurs, rather than working as employees. As much as there are various causes of this, I believe the disadvantages should also be considered. Agreeably, the flexible nature of entrepreneurship make individuals venture into it. Unlike paid employments which have fixed resumption and closing time, and may attract a penalty of salary cut if flouted, business owners are the chief executive officers and decision makers of their businesses. Therefore, they have the advantage of resuming at their convenience, which gives them the time to attend to personal needs. For instance, my daddy’s employees at his automobile firm resumes daily by 8am, meanwhile, he goes to work by 4pm on Mondays and Fridays because he decided to rest well on those days. Nevertheless, entrepreneurs have to independently bear the risk of the company. Business owners independently sort for funds necessary to start a business either by loaning from banks while depositing collaterals or putting in their personal savings for years. However, these people are at a risk of loosing their investment or even collateral should incase the business does not strive properly and yield great profit. For example, my mummy lost almost one million naira after starting a clothing industry that did not yield profit due to bad location, and was shut down. This goes to show that entrepreneurs bears all the danger associated with starting a company. To conclude, although commencing a business gives room for flexibility of time, it’s ability to make individuals loose their money should also be considered.
Entrepreneurship is gaining popularity in the world. In recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals prefer to be entrepreneurs,
rather
than working as employees. As much as there are various causes of this, I believe the disadvantages should
also
be considered
.

Agreeably
, the flexible nature of entrepreneurship
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
individuals venture into it. Unlike paid employments which have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
resumption and closing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, and may attract a penalty of salary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
if flouted,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
owners are the chief executive officers and decision makers of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
.
Therefore
, they have the advantage of resuming at their convenience, which gives them the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to attend to personal needs.
For instance
, my
In some contexts, this is childish language. Consider alternatives.
daddy
’s employees at his automobile firm resumes daily by 8am, meanwhile, he goes to work by 4pm on Mondays and Fridays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he decided to rest well on those days.

Nevertheless
, entrepreneurs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
independently
bear the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Business
owners
independently
sort for funds necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
either by loaning from banks while depositing collaterals or putting in their personal savings for years.
However
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are at a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of loosing their investment or even collateral should
Possible spelling mistake found.
incase
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
does not strive
properly
and yield great profit.
For example
, my mummy lost almost one million
Possible agreement error. The noun ‘naira’ seems to be countable, so consider using: “nairas”.
naira
after starting a clothing industry that did not yield profit due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
location, and
was shut
down. This goes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that entrepreneurs bears all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
associated with starting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

To conclude
, although commencing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
gives room for flexibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, it’s ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
individuals
Did you mean “lose” (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
their money should
also
be considered
.
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IELTS essay Entrepreneurship is gaining popularity in the world.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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