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Entertainment is play important role in individual life. some people think that it has many positive development. Other believe that it has nega6 development

Entertainment is play important role in individual life. some people think that it has many positive development. Other believe that it has nega6 development gYYK1
Entertainment is more important in everyone life. Nowadays movies and music are most popular in entertainment field. some people think that it has positive development however, other believe that it has negative development. According to me, it has both merits as well as demerits an Human life. i will discuss in upcoming paragraph. On the one hand, there are a lot of advantage of watching movies and listening misic. Firstly, people can watch movies and listen to music all over the world on their smartphones and laptop with the help of the internet. So far as, they get yo know about the other nation's cultures and languages. Secondly, movies and music are very helpful fir getting knowledge and also learing language. For example, in modern era, many individual watch english movie to learn english language and music also improve their listening skills in different languages. on the other hand, there are also several demerits of watching movies and listening music. the main disadvantage is that it is source of wastage of the time because if people watch the meaningless movies. they know that these useless film's will not help them in any Way's. As well as, they watch them For long hours. they can not focus on their study or work. Apart from this, watching movie's for long hours leads to lot of diseases, such as, heart and eyes problem because when they sur at one place for long hours without doing any activities. So, they can effect on their health. Yo conclusion, although watching movies and listening music have many advantages. such as, people can improve language skills and cultures. But, ut has also disadvantage an individuals life, which can not be ignored.
Entertainment is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in everyone life. Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
are most popular in entertainment field.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development
however
, other believe that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, it has both merits
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
demerits
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
Human life.
Did you mean "I"?
i
will discuss in upcoming paragraph. On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantage of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and listening
Possible spelling mistake found.
misic
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and listen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
all over the world on their smartphones and laptop with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the internet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
far as, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Did you mean "to", "you" or "your"?
yo
know about the other nation's cultures and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful fir getting knowledge and
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
learing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
For example
, in modern era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
Possible spelling mistake found.
english
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
to learn
Possible spelling mistake found.
english
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their listening
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand, there are
also
several demerits of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and listening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
main disadvantage is that it is
Consider using a past participle here: "sourced".
source
of wastage of the time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
the meaningless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
know that these useless film's will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in any
Incorrect plural form; it does not need any apostrophe. Did you mean "Ways"?
Way's
.
As well
as, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
them For long hours.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
can not focus on their study or work. Apart from this, watching movie's for long hours leads to
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
diseases, such as, heart and eyes problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when they
Possible spelling mistake found.
sur
at one place for long hours without doing any activities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they can effect on their health.
Did you mean "to", "you" or "your"?
Yo
conclusion, although watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and listening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
such
as,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and cultures.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ut
has
also
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "disadvantaged".
disadvantage
an
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "individuals'" or "individual's"?
individuals
life, which can not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
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IELTS essay Entertainment is play important role in individual life. some people think that it has many positive development. Other believe that it has nega6 development

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
284 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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