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Enter Computer in classroom

Enter Computer in classroom dqgXd
In today's world, The invention of technology shows many sectors effect from that, even teaching. Many people agree with learning in school by computers, therefore the information in computer is more truthful. On the other hand, though the learning whereby a computer is provide some issues such as dangers on the student eyes and cases addiction on technical items. Personal l agree with the second view; because, that reduce jops in education. Computers involved in schools that idea is dram many parents, a result as some public trust in technology more than humankind. In addition, some teachers they are not aware about many knowledge, especially, older teachers they are not know about new theories or exploring and they have old fashion in teaching-method. Also some tutors have wrong Information about religion and theory of science. For example, study on specific private school iullstart when students answer like what teachers believe will have incorrect will fall in that topic. However, the other side of society disagree with the computer should utilize in schools, because the students will site forward the screen around 6 hours per day. Which will affect badly on their sight. Consequently, the main reason of wearing glasses is wave that screen produce. Some parents who the suffering from addiction technology that child have they are not agree because that will increase issues which their child suffer from. For instant, most young generation have addition related to technology. In conclusion, many people thank to enter computer to classroom that is beneficial for students to have a right information and new methods of learning.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, The invention of technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sectors effect from that, even teaching.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with learning in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
by computers,
therefore
the information in computer is more truthful.
On the other hand
, though the learning whereby a computer is
Consider using a past participle here: "provided".
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
eyes and cases addiction on technical items. Personal l
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the second view;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
Possible spelling mistake found.
jops
in education.

Computers involved in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is dram
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents, a result as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
public trust in technology more than humankind.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
teachers they are not aware about
Possible agreement error. The noun knowledge seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much knowledge", "a good deal of knowledge".
many knowledge
,
especially
, older teachers they are not know about new theories or
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
exploring and
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
fashion in teaching-method.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tutors have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
Information about religion and theory of science.
For example
, study on specific private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Possible spelling mistake found.
iullstart
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
answer like what teachers believe will have incorrect will fall in that topic.

However
, the other side of society disagree with the computer should utilize in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will site forward the screen around 6 hours per day.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
will affect
badly
on their sight.
Consequently
, the main reason of wearing glasses is wave that screen produce.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
parents who the suffering from addiction technology
The verb 'have' is plural. Did you mean: "that child has"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that child have
they are not
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that will increase issues which their child suffer from. For instant, most young generation have addition related to technology.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
thank to enter computer to classroom
that is
beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have
'information' is a mass noun (i.e., uncountable). Therefore, the preceding 'a' is probably wrong.
a right information
and new methods of learning.
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IELTS essay Enter Computer in classroom

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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