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ensuring that children have regular physical exercise should be the responsibility of parents and therefore schools should not waste valuable school time having sports lessons as part of the curriculum. To what extent do you agree?

How can we assure that students actively participate in physical exercises? Some people hold a view that sport lessons in schools should be eliminated while parents can be responsible for arranging related activities. I completely disagree with this opinion for the following reasons. Firstly, attending physical curriculum provides an opportunity for teachers to unveil children’s talents in sports. Many students who perform poorly on traditional core subjects might have enormous potential in achieving athletic success. For instance, as a remarkable basketball player, Michael Jordan was discovered by his school coach and consequently obtained tremendous achievements in sports industry. Nevertheless, if Michael Jordan did not attend sports classes and was not encouraged by his PE teacher, he would have struggled on passing traditional subjects for graduation and would not be accepted by well-known university for his natural endowment in sports. Besides, taking sports lessons allows children to relax from tense academic studies. As many students are compulsively required to attain acceptable on core subjects to graduate and to be enrolled in famous universities, children usually spend tremendous time studying traditional courses and feel stressed. Whereas if sports lessons are properly arranged for children, they will have time to play with their peers and will ease down from onerous 牛逼academic study. Moreover, since parents already lay much focus on heavy workloads, there is less time to ensure children’s zealous participation in physical exercises. In conclusion, as students’ athletic potential can be explored by teachers from sports schools and children are provided arranged time to decompress from heavy academic studies. Therefore cutting down sports courses should be reconsidered.
How can we assure that
students
actively
participate in physical exercises?
Some
people
hold a view that
sport
lessons in schools should
be eliminated
while parents can be responsible for arranging related activities. I completely disagree with this opinion for the following reasons.

Firstly
, attending physical curriculum provides an opportunity for teachers to unveil
children’s
talents in
sports
.
Many
students
who perform
poorly
on traditional core subjects might have enormous potential in achieving athletic success.
For instance
, as a remarkable basketball player, Michael Jordan
was discovered
by his school coach and
consequently
obtained tremendous achievements in
sports
industry.
Nevertheless
, if Michael Jordan did not attend
sports
classes and was not encouraged by his PE teacher, he would have struggled on passing traditional subjects for graduation and would not be
accepted
by well-known university for his natural endowment in sports.

Besides
, taking
sports
lessons
allows
children
to relax from tense academic studies. As
many
students
are
compulsively
required to attain acceptable on core subjects to graduate and to
be enrolled
in
famous
universities,
children
usually
spend tremendous
time
studying traditional courses and feel
stressed
. Whereas if
sports
lessons are
properly
arranged for
children
, they will have
time
to play with their peers and will
ease
down from onerous 牛逼academic study.
Moreover
, since parents already lay much focus on heavy workloads, there is less
time
to ensure
children’s
zealous participation in physical exercises.

In conclusion
, as
students’
athletic potential can
be explored
by teachers from
sports
schools and
children
are provided
arranged
time
to decompress from heavy academic studies.
Therefore
cutting down
sports
courses should
be reconsidered
.
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IELTS essay ensuring that children have regular physical exercise should be the responsibility of parents and therefore schools should not waste valuable school time having sports lessons as part of the curriculum.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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