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Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this Information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays many job applications include specific part for personal interests and marital status. Although some people believe this could be irrelevant or misleading, others think it could be useful for the employer and employees. It is by no means clear that which group are correct as we would see in this essay. On the one hand, personal privacy is a hot topic, and many individuals urge respect to that. Firstly, personal questions asked at interviews may discomfort a candidate for a reason, which could possibly lead to a poor performance. For example, a person with background of marital problems and divorce could be easily distracted from the interview and the position with related questions. Furthermore, off-topic questions could create a misjudgment for the interviewer. Therefore, the company could miss many bight and potential candidates because of an irrelevant question. On the other hand, this information would be valuable for both the company and future employee. Using statistics of these questionnaires, managers could plan for perks more effectively. For instance, if watching movies is a popular hobby in a department, managers could set regular movie nights for them to improve motivation. Moreover, it could help to reduce the stress level in a actual interview. These are the topics a person would discuss it with his/her friend, thus answering to them may help some people to eliminate the stress. For example, questions about video games and movies could be enjoyable to some and assist to break the ice during the interview. In conclusion, while many are against including personal questions in applications because of wrong judgment and discomfort it can cause, some people, including myself, support this idea because it could help some candidates to overcome overwhelming situation of interview and the company's output in the long term.
Nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
job applications include specific part for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
interests and marital status. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe this could be irrelevant or misleading, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it could be useful for the employer and employees. It is by no means
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that which group are correct as we would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in this essay.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
privacy is a hot topic, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals urge respect to that.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
questions
asked at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interviews
may discomfort a candidate for a reason, which could
possibly
lead to a poor performance.
For example
, a person with background of marital problems and divorce could be
easily
distracted from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
and the position with related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
questions
.
Furthermore
, off-topic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
questions
could create a misjudgment for the interviewer.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
could miss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
bight and potential candidates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of an irrelevant question.

On the other hand
, this information would be valuable for both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and future employee. Using statistics of these questionnaires, managers could plan for perks more
effectively
.
For instance
, if watching movies is a popular hobby in a department, managers could set regular movie nights for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
motivation.
Moreover
, it could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level in
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
. These are the topics a person would discuss it with his/her friend,
thus
answering to them may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to eliminate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
questions
about video games and movies could be enjoyable to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
and assist to break the ice during the interview.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are against including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
questions
in applications
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
judgment and discomfort it can cause,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, including myself, support this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
candidates to overcome overwhelming situation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's output in the long term.
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IELTS essay Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this Information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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