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Medical science has greatly lengthened the average lifespan for most people. Some think this is a positive development while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Over recent years, medical science has made a tremendous advancement as well as contributed in enhancing the average life expectancy of human beings. While some people think this is a good consequence, there are people who disagree as well. I believe this is a boon from medical science to mankind as people can stay healthy and live longer. Let us examine both the perspectives in the subsequent paragraphs followed by my own opinion. First and foremost, let us discuss the positives of increased average life span due to medical science. Due to the continuous ongoing research about diseases and the root cause of such ailments, awareness is much higher than before. Consequently, the instances of sudden deaths have decreased. To elaborate, it is easier to diagnose the disease based on the symptoms because of the availability of advanced medical equipment which were not accessible before. This aids the medical practitioner to intervene earlier before the condition of the patient worsens and in many cases, life can be saved. To exemplify, in a study published in 'Journal of medical sciences' by Dr. Richard Philip in 2010 titled 'Average Lifespan and medical advancement', he established a positive correlation between the modernization of health care and an average life span of people. He explained how early diagnosis of the disease helps in saving lives as well as avoiding unnatural deaths even though the disease is a chronic one. On the other hand, the increased life span contributes to the higher population growth rate which leads to several issues. To clarify, since the resources on the planet are limited, increased life span implies that more people need to consume these available resources. The pressure has been transferred to the agricultural land to produce more food which means the usage of more chemicals in form of fertilizers on the land. Not only this leads to the deterioration of the land quality in the long run but also contributes to pollution. To illustrate, 80% of the respondents out of 400 farmers in a survey conducted by 'Agricultural Society of Europe' in 2015 agreed that there is an ever-increasing pressure of producing more from the available land resources due to which the acidity level has increased over the years. In my opinion, I assert that with the help of medical science we are able to lead a healthy and a longer life which is indeed a great benefit. To explain, apart from the positives highlighted above, we are also able to reduce the number of stillbirths and infant deaths. The doctors are easily able to detect any anomalies in the child before birth which facilitates them to take appropriate measures. To cite an example, as per a study conducted by 'Health Authority of Manchester' from 500 hospitals in 2015, they noticed a gradual decrease in the number of stillborn cases over the years. To encapsulate, it can be concluded that, although the enhanced life span has increased pressure on the available resources but the benefits of increased life span due to advancements in medical sciences are much higher. Hence, I agree that this is a positive development.
Over recent years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
has made a tremendous advancement
as well
as contributed in enhancing the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy of human beings. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
consequence, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who disagree
as well
. I believe this is a boon from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
to mankind as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can stay healthy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us examine both the perspectives in the subsequent paragraphs followed by my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

First
and foremost,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us discuss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
span
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to the continuous ongoing research about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
and the root cause of such ailments, awareness is much higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
.
Consequently
, the instances of sudden deaths have decreased. To elaborate, it is easier to diagnose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
based on the symptoms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the availability of advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
equipment which were not accessible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
. This aids the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
practitioner to intervene earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
the condition of the patient worsens and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can
be saved
. To exemplify, in a study published in 'Journal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
sciences' by Dr. Richard Philip in 2010 titled 'Average Lifespan and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
advancement', he established a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
correlation between the modernization of health care and an average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
span
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
how early diagnosis of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in saving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
as well
as avoiding unnatural deaths
even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
is a chronic one.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
span
contributes to the higher population growth rate which leads to several issues. To clarify, since the resources on the planet
are limited
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
span
implies that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to consume these available resources. The pressure has
been transferred
to the agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
to produce more food which means the usage of more chemicals in form of fertilizers on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this leads to the deterioration of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
quality in the long run
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
contributes to pollution. To illustrate, 80% of the respondents out of 400 farmers in a survey conducted by 'Agricultural Society of Europe' in 2015
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that there is an ever-increasing pressure of producing more from the available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
resources
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which the acidity level has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
over the years.

In my opinion, I assert that with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
we are able to lead a healthy and a longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which is
indeed
a great benefit. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, apart from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positives
highlighted above, we are
also
able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of stillbirths and infant deaths. The doctors are
easily
able to detect any anomalies in the child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
birth which facilitates them to take appropriate measures. To cite an example, as per a study conducted by 'Health Authority of Manchester' from 500 hospitals in 2015, they noticed a gradual decrease in the number of stillborn cases over the years.

To encapsulate, it can
be concluded
that, although the enhanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
span
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
pressure on the available resources
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
span
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to advancements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
are much higher.
Hence
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that this is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
development.
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IELTS essay Medical science has greatly lengthened the average lifespan for most people. Some think this is a positive development while others disagree.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
520 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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